Recipe for Turnabout - Transcript - Part 2



January 7, 12:52 AM Wright & Co. Law Offcies

Maya:

So how do you think the trial went this morning?

Phoenix:

How do you think it went!?

Maya:

It got a bit crazy in there. I just wonder if that killed our chances.

Phoenix:

Yeah, I guess it did get out of hand. Mr. Kudo's testimony did nothing to help us. Plus, now we don't even know the identity of the waitress who laced the coffee.

Maya:

All we know is what old Mr. Kudo saw... The apron straps, and the ribbon.

Phoenix:

And that the victim was wearing an earpiece when his eardrum was ruptured.

Maya:

Talk about a terrifying case of contradictionitus.

Phoenix:

Time to play doctor and find ourselves a cure then, huh?

Maya:

Yeah, we've gotta find one for Maggey, or she's going to have a terminal case of guilty!

-

January 7 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Maya:

Looks like Gumshoe's not here.

Phoenix:

Never mind that. What's going on? It feels different in here somehow...

Maya:

You think?

Phoenix:

Yeah. Everyone seems to be on edge.

Detective:

What are you doing!? Call in the officers for the briefing, quick! Can't you shut down the station's server? Chief! Quit playing on the Internet!

Chief:

But my e-mail pen pal, 1337aZnPrInceSz!

Detective:

Save it for later! I'm turning it off NOW!

Chief:

Noooo! 1337aZnPrInceeeeeSz!!

Maya:

Everyone's keeping busy in here, huh?

Phoenix:

Keeping busy? More like paincking, if you ask me. (Something's going on. Something big ...)

-

January 6 Detention Center Visitor's Room

Phoenix:

I guess Maggey's still in questioning.

Maya:

But! But we've got questions to ask her, too! Magg-ey! Magg-ey!

Phoenix:

Keep it down, Maya! This isn't a playground, you know!

-

January 7 Trés Bien

Maya:

Empty, as usual.

Phoenix:

Yeah, and it's lunchtime, too.

???:

That's it! Come on, come on, come on!

Phoenix:

Hey, that sounds like...

Gumshoe:

Now just call an "8", pal! Come on! I know you can!

Maya:

He's getting really worked up about something.

Gumshoe:

Noooooo! That's the wrong number! Argh! Look like an "8" would have only netted me five bucks anyway! What a rip off!

Maya:

What's the problem, Detective Gumshoe?

Gumshoe:

Huh!? Oh, it's you... I, uh... I was uh... Hah hah! I was just... Hah hah hah! I was just listening to the radio, pal.

Phoenix:

To the radio?

Maya:

Hey, Detective Gumshoe's having lunch here!

Phoenix:

(He is! And he's having the Twin-T set...)

Gumshoe:

Aha ha ha... What can I say...?

-

January 7 Vitamin Square

Maya:

Hmm... I don't see any sign of Mr. Kudo. Do you?

Phoenix:

Maybe he went to buy another ton of bird seeds. I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be here, anyway. At least, not for now. (Besides, any more seeds today and I'm liable to turn into a real phoenix!)

-

January 7 Trés Bien Kitchen

Maya:

Huh? Mr. Armstrong's talking to someone.

???:

I'll be back next month.

Armstrong:

Oui! Naturellement! I will be waiting for you!

???:

If you haven't got it by then, I'm afraid it might get a little... hot... around here.

Armstrong:

Non! I will 'ave everything ready, I promise!

???:

I love fire, you know... I love the way it crackles... Hee... Hee... Hee...

Armstrong:

Non, non, non! Stop it! I beg you!

???:

Then don't let me down... I'll be watching you...

Armstrong:

Mais, non! Z'is is not necessary! You can trust me, mademoiselle!

???:

Talk to anyone... and I'll drive a knife... right through your heart.

Armstrong:

Oh, non! You do not 'ave to worry. You know, you worry far too much. Maybe z'is will 'elp you relax. It is la oil of sandalwood.

???:

I do love... raw meat... from time to time... Hee... Hee... Hee...

Armstrong:

Aaaaah!

???:

I'll be taking my leave... Goodbye... for now!

Armstrong:

Urgh! I 'ave la shivers! I must rub some of my oil all over my body before I become z'e nervous wreck! Z'ere. Oh, oui, oui! Z'at feels good!

Phoenix:

Urgh!

Armstrong:

Oh lá lá! Excusez-moi, monsieur!

Phoenix:

M-My eyes! My EYES!

Armstrong:

Your eyes? If you 'ave trouble wi'z your eyes, you need z'is. La oil of sandalwood!

Phoenix:

Isn't this just the leftovers of what you were just using!?

(Talking about "The radio", "The woman just now", and "Tender Lender", Presenting Glen Elg's profile to Gumshoe leads to:)

-

January 7 Blue Screens, Inc.

Maya:

Wow! This place is so hi-tech! You can almost smell the electricity in the air!

Phoenix:

It is a computer firm, Maya. They can't work without electricity, you know.

???:

Who are you?

Maya:

Oh, umm... Hello...

???:

I'm sorry. Access is restricted to authorized personnel only. This is a computer programming laboratory. There are far too many trade secrets that could be leaked.

Maya:

Wow! What secrets!?

???:

Everything you see here is classified. No information can leave this building.

Maya:

Understood!

Phoenix:

(Who is this woman? She's like a robot from some kind of whacked edumacational show...)

Basil:

My name is Lisa Basil. I'm the company director.

Phoenix:

D-Director!? (Sh-She's human!? She seems more like a ghost in a shell. And that thing over her eye... Isn't that the same device as Glen Elg's?)

Maya:

That's an DMH, right?

Phoenix:

Nice try, but it's the other way around, Maya. It's an HMD.

Basil:

All of my programmers here at Blue Screens, Inc. are supplied with HMDs.

Maya:

Then do you write programs, too?

Basil:

No. I just enjoy wearing this.

Maya:

They ARE pretty cool! I wouldn't mind one!

-

Trés Bien

Gumshoe:

Well, I'm gonna head back to the precinct now. We've got a big meeting starting in a bit.

Maya:

About Maggey's case, you mean?

Gumshoe:

No, that's pretty much wrapped up now... There's another big case going down at the moment, so she's been pushed aside...

Maya:

OK. Well, see you later then.

Gumshoe:

Bye!

Phoenix:

...

Gumshoe:

......

Phoenix:

......... Y-You better get going, Detective, or you'll be late.

Gumshoe:

Actually, I, um... I've kinda got a favor to ask. It's a big one!

Phoenix:

A favor?

Gumshoe:

Yeah... It's for, um... Maggey, actually. I was kinda hoping... you'd give this to her for me.

Maya:

What is it?

Gumshoe:

It's a lunchbox. I got up early so I could make it. I've been real worried about her. She looked like she'd lost a lot of weight.

Maya:

Detective Gumshoe... ... How many weenies are in here!? There's not a person on earth who could down this much meat.

Gumshoe:

You think? I love weenies. I can't get enough of their tender juiciness. So will you give to her? It took me ages to make, so please say you will, pal!

Phoenix:

(I can't exactly say no, can I?)

Gumshoe's Lunchbox given to Maya to carry.

Maya:

Maybe I'll eat it myself if I get hungry!

Gumshoe:

Don't forget, OK? I'm counting on you to give that to Maggey.

Phoenix:

(He's finally gone...)

-

Vitamin Square

-

January 7 Tender Lender

Maya:

...This place gives off a really strange vibe, doesn't it?

Phoenix:

Looks like "The Tiger" isn't in his lair. (And that is, as they say, a very good thing.)

???:

...Welcome...

Phoenix:

* gulp* (Talk about a creppy voice! It makes your soul want to shrivel up and die!)

???:

You're here... to discuss a loan...?

Phoenix:

Uh, no. Not exactly...

???:

The manager is away at the moment... Wait quietly... please...

Maya:

She's gone! Just like that!

Phoenix:

I guess we'll just have to come back another time.

Maya:

But this is the perfect opportunity, Nick! This place reeks of suspicion! Come on, Nick! Let's take a look around, OK?

Phoenix:

Do you think it'd be OK...?

Maya:

Of course! No one will ever know...

???:

...Coffee...?

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

???:

I'll leave it here for you to enjoy... Quietly.

Phoenix:

Y-Yes! Thank you!

???:

Do not touch the desk... Please...

Maya:

N-N-Nick! Let's g-get out of here!

Phoenix:

(NOW She wants to get out of here...)

(Examining CD Player, Ashtray, Hanging clothes leads to:)

???:

Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

Phoenix:

(Come out from under the desk, Maya!)

The Tiger:

Whad are youse two snoopin' around in my office for!?

Phoenix:

N-Nothing. W-We were just...

The Tiger:

Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! My precious carpet! Youse got ash on my rug! You' gonna wish your ugly feet never came through my door!

Phoenix:

I-It wasn't us! It was already like th--

The Tiger:

Youse wanna argue with me!? Is that what you' doin'? You dink youse can take me on!? I'm gonna flatten youse two into pancakes and turn youse into my new rugs!

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

???:

...Oh... Don Tigre... You're back...

Phoenix:

(Ack... That voice... It's like evil seeping into your head through your ears...)

???:

...I'm sorry... Don Tigre... I knocked pver that ashtray before... and...

Phoenix:

(Eek! Has she got a death wish or what!?)

The Tiger:

... Oh, right.

Phoenix:

Huh?

The Tiger:

F-Forget about it, Violetta. I-It's noddin'...

Phoenix:

(What, what, what!?)

The Tiger:

I ain't gonna get mad at you. You' too cute, you hear!

Phoenix:

(That's so unfair!)

???:

Here... Have some cookies... I just baked them... And you'll need some strong espresso... while you're discussing your loan...

The Tiger:

Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! Phoenix Wright!

Phoenix:

Y-Yes!?

The Tiger:

Youse either crazy or just plain stupid to chase after me! I worked so hard, but now youse gotta come and mess up my plan...

Phoenix:

(So it was him... He's my phony...)

The Tiger:

Heh, but I don't care. No one gets in my way!

Phoenix:

Wh-What? I mean, e-excuse me?

The Tiger:

Heh heh heh! Youse shoulda left de little girl at home, Wright.

Phoenix:

Um... I have a few things I want to ask

The Tiger:

Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

The Tiger:

No questions! Dis is de last time we meet!

Phoenix:

Ack! Wait! P-Please!

Maya:

...That was pretty weak, Nick. You waited until he was out of earshot before you shouted after him.

Phoenix:

(Like you're one to talk! I didn't hear you scream, "Hold it!" either!)

???:

...The espresso...

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

???:

...And cookies...

Phoenix:

(This woman is definitely not good for my heart. Now, what was it The Tiger called her...? "Violetta"?)

-

January 7 Vitamin Square

Maya:

There he is! Old Seedy's back feeding the pigeons again!

Kudo:

There! Take this! And this! And get out of my park!

Phoenix:

Like I thought, he's really mad... Come on, Maya. Just keep your head down and let's sneak away while we still can... Maya:

What? Why? Hellooo, old man!

Phoenix:

What are you doing, Maya!?

Kudo:

Huh!? ...Kah!

Maya:

Hey, he just turned his back on us!

Phoenix:

I'm not surprised. I bet I really hurt his pride in court this morning.

Maya:

Hey, Mr. Kudo!

Kudo:

Hmm, ha-hmm, hmm... Hmm, pi-pi-pigeon, hmm... Kah!

Maya:

Look, we really need to talk to you, alright?

Kudo:

Out with the demons! In with good fortune!

Maya:

Ow! Ow! Ow! Seeds... Shell splinters... Painful...

Phoenix:

I always knew you were a demon, Maya!

-

(Talking about "Embroiderer" and "The "errand""leads to:)

Trés Bien

-

January 7 Trés Bien Kitchen

Maya:

Looks like Mr. Armstrong's out again.

Phoenix:

But the place is open for business... You can't have an open restaurant without a chef!

Maya:

Hey! It's not my fault, Nick! Don't take it out on me!

Phoenix:

(Only a couple of minutes after the incident happened... Mr. Kudo left the scene, leaving Mr. Armstrong here alone.)

Maya:

Argh... Missing when we need to talk to him the most.

Phoenix:

(Maybe he's trying to avoid us on purpose?)

-

January 7 Detention Center Visitor's Room

Byrde:

Oh, Mr. Wright!

Phoenix:

Hello, Maggey. So they finished questioning you?

Byrde:

Wasn't it just unbelievable in court today, sir!? I'm going to stay up all night and blog about everything that happened!

Maya:

Weren't you scared? It was pretty touch and go in there.

Byrde:

Yeah, but you totally nailed that old man!

Phoenix:

Well, he was all over the place with his testimony.

Byrde:

He's not the only one!

Maya:

Huh? What do you mean?

Byrde:

Everyone else's testimonies don't match up either. Not with what I remember of the incident, anyway...

Phoenix:

(Is it possible she is the one misremembering things...?)

(Examining CD Player, Ashtray and Hanging clothes, talking about "Victor's Testimony", presenting Gumshoe's Lunchbox leads to:)

-

January 7 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Detective:

The main server just went up in smoke! Why the heck isn't the press conference set up yet!? The Superintendent's here already!

Chief:

Yeah. And there's a problem with the Internet, too.

Detective:

I already told you to stop using your computer, Chief!

Chief:

But I'm watching videos online! I'm catching up on my Asian soap operas!

Detective:

It's gonna have to wait, Chief. I'm throwing the switch!

Chief:

Nooo! Just when Sum Yung-Gai was about to confess to his son's hot-to-trot girlfriend!

Maya:

Wow! This place is really buzzing.

Phoenix:

Something must be going down. Something really big.

Gumshoe:

Huh!? What are you doing here, pal?

Maya:

Detective Gumshoe!

Gumshoe:

You can't be here right now. You'll roped into the briefing if you stay.

Phoenix:

Huh?

Gumshoe:

We've got big problems here today.

Maya:

Why? What's going on?

Gumshoe:

It's a virus! A virus!!

Phoenix:

(A virus?)

Gumshoe:

There's a virus ripping through the precinct's computer system.

Phoenix:

(But I really need to ask you some questions...)

(Talking about "MC Bomber" and "The Cadaverinis" leads to:)

Gumshoe:

Aaaaargh! I can't believe it! I almost forgot the most important thing!

Phoenix:

A-And that is...?

Gumshoe:

You know, the lunchbox! How did everything go!?

Phoenix:

L-Lunchbox?

Maya:

You remember. The weenies...?

-

Byrde:

I hate weenies!

-

Phoenix:

(Oh, yeah... Those weenies.)

Gumshoe:

So? How did my weenies taste when they went down the hatch?

Maya:

Huh? Um... Well... It was... delicious!

Gumshoe:

Yeah? That's what she said? Really!?

Maya:

Umm... Well... Not exactly...

Gumshoe:

Don't woory about it, pal. I figured something would happen, so I came prepared.

Phoenix:

Prepared? What do you mean...?

Gumshoe:

I made a jumbo lunchbox!

Maya:

Oh...

Gumshoe:

Do me a favor again, huh, pal, and deliver this?

Phoenix:

(This sure is a heavy burden... In more ways than one...)

Gumshoe:

I can just imagine Maggey's little eyes sparkling with joy when you bring her that!

Maya:

...Weenies, again, Nick? Tell me we don't have to eat all these too...

Gumshoe's Lunchbox given to Maya. Again.

Maya:

I really can't eat any more...

-

Blue Screens, Inc.

-

Tender Lender

-

Vitamin Square

(Talking about "Risky extra work" and "Compensation" leads to:)

-

January 7 Trés Bien

Armstrong:

Eh, bonjour! I 'ave been waiting for you to return.

Maya:

Mr. Armstrong...

Phoenix:

Ah, good timing. I was hoping to find you here. We'd like to ask you a few questions...

???:

Well, he hasn't got anythin' to say to youse fellas!

Maya:

Ah! It's Xin Eohp...

Tigre:

Who you callin' "Zinnee Ooooope"!?

Maya:

Aaaaah!

Phoenix:

(Come out from under the table already, Maya!)

Tigre:

OK. Hand it over!

Phoenix:

Wh-What?

Tigre:

Youse wanna play games wid me? I don't recommend dat! The medical papers! Now!

Phoenix:

(Uh, oh... I think he wants Viola Cadaverini's papers back...) Y-You mean... this? The million dollar medical papers?

Tigre:

...

Phoenix:

Ms. Cadaverini trusted you. That's why she said that she helped you.

Tigre:

Forget about it! That girl's dumber dan an eggplant. Youse wanna know what's sad? I'll tell youse what's sad. And it ain't only her face. She thinks she's got power cuz she's Bruto's little girl... Now THAT's sad...

Phoenix:

I can't let you have these papers. Tomorrow in court... ...i'm going to expose what you did to get the one million you used to pay this off!

Tigre:

... Are you crazy or somethin'!? I don't care if you wanna give it to me or not! There's two of us here. You got dat? Two.

Armstrong:

Err... oui! Oui, oui!

Phoenix:

Mr. Armstrong!?

Armstrong:

Forgive me! Désolé! I cannot argue wiz 'im!

Phoenix:

U-Urgh! (...That... reallly hurt!)

Tigre:

Is dat all youse got? I'll be takin' dose papers now. Armstrong! Get that lighter!

Phoenix:

W-Wait...!

Tigre:

Don't take it too hard... ...Phoenix Wright.

-

Phoenix:

(That was so stupid... I shouldn't... have let my guard down. Those medical papers were... vital... evi...dence...)

Hold it, pal!

-

Phoenix:

D-Detective Gumshoe!?

Tigre:

D-Detective!? Youse think you gonna stop me, copper!? Beat it! Gwaaaaaaaaaaar!

Gumshoe:

Whoa! C-Come on, Gumshoe! Keep it together! You guys! Get outta here! Leave this guy to me.

Phoenix:

B-But...

Gumshoe:

Go, pal! And take this! If you get hurt, who'd look after Maggey, huh!?

Phoenix:

...! A-Alright! Thanks, Gumshoe!

Maya:

Wait, Nick! Don't leave me behind!

-

Phoenix:

(I'll get even with that guy tomorrow... in court! Tender Lender is going down!)

To be continued.

-

January 8, 9:46 AM District Court Defendant Lobby No. 1

Byrde:

Gooood morning, Mr. Wright!

Maya:

Good morning, Maggey!

Byrde:

So, what do you think is going to happen today, sir? Yesterday's session didn't go so well, and then ended on a giant mystery.

Phoenix:

(That's true... And we still haven't solved a single part of it yet...)

Maya:

Are you OK, Nick?

Phoenix:

Huh? Oh, uh... Yeah. Of course.

Byrde:

I saw that! That little flash of doubt in your eyes!

Phoenix:

N-No! That wasn't doubt. That was, umm... determination!

Byrde:

Why don't I believe you...?

Maya:

It's nearly time, Maggey. You'd better get going to the defendant's seat.

Byrde:

Roger. Don't let me down, Mr. Wright. I'm counting on you!

Hey, pal!

Phoenix:

Hey, Detective Gumshoe...

Gumshoe:

Quit stressing Maggey out! She doesn't need that!

Phoenix:

H-How did you know she was stressed...?

Gumshoe:

I was watching through the doorway.

Phoenix:

Oh...

Gumshoe:

You look like you lost the case already. Show a bit of confidence, will you, pal!? Here, maybe this'll help.

Maya:

Huh!? Have you taken up aromatherapy, too?

Gumshoe:

Not in a million years, pal! Don't tell me that you don't remember this thing?

Phoenix:

(Hmm... Come to think of it, that doesn't look like one of those aromatherapy bottles...)

Gumshoe:

This is the small bottle that turned up in Trés Bien's kitchen a couple of days ago.

-

Maya:

Wow! Look at all these little bottles!

Phoenix:

Oh! They're aromatherapy oils! He's got so many, they're overflowing onto the floor...

Maya:

Hey, wait a minute... There's one bottle that's different from all the others.

Phoenix:

Well what do you know. And it doesn't have a label either.

Maya:

And... *sniff* It doesn't smell.

-

Gumshoe:

We finally got the analysis results back from the lab.

Maya:

So!? What is it? Is it the poison?

Gumshoe:

I'm afraid not, pal. It's... medication.

Maya:

Medication?

Gumshoe:

Yeah. For ears. Topical use only, apparently.

Phoenix:

For ears? You mean...?

Gumshoe:

Yeah. It's the medication Glen Elg was using for his ruptured eardrum!

Phoenix:

(What was Glen Elg's ear medicine doing in the kitchen...?)

Small Bottle refiled into the Court Record.

Phoenix:

Um, what about the unidentified fingerprints ? Anything on that?

Gumshoe:

Someone screw up, so they only had time to analyze the contents of the bottle.Another hour and they might have gotten something on the prints, but...

Phoenix:

(Hmm... That's going to weaken its impact as a piece of evidence...)

Gumshoe:

OK, pal! This is it! Make sure your defense is impregnable today, got it!?

Phoenix:

(Today's trial... I'm gonna expose that guy for what he's done, or my name isn't Phoenix Wright!)

-

January 8, 10:00 AM District Court Courtroom No. 4

Judge:

Court is now in session for the trial of Maggey Byrde.

Phoenix:

The defense is ready, Your Honor.

Godot:

Ready and waiting as always, Your Honor.

Judge:

Very good. Then we'll get underway at once. Yesterday we heard the testimony of Mr. Victor Kudo. He claims to have witnessed the defendant putting a powder into the victim's coffee. However, the witness's testimony was plagued with a number of problems.

Godot:

The mark on the rim of the cup shows that the victim drank from it with his right hand. But according to the old man's testimony, he picked it up with his left hand.

Judge:

Thank you, Mr. Godot. Furthermore, according to the witness's account... ...the victim was listening to the radio with an earpiece in his left ear. Yet, the victim's left eardrum was ruptured, which made him effectively deaf in that ear.

Maya:

It's amazing how many contradictions a single case can have, huh Nick?

Godot:

Ha...! Allow me to enlighten you, Your Honor. The world, you see, keeps turning, and we must turn with it.

Judge:

... You've lost me already, Mr. Godot.

Godot:

Don't let the mysteries of yesterday mystify you today. Only losers think like that. You've got to change with the times! That's one of my rules!

Judge:

Are you implying that you've resolved these contradictions? You know the answers to these riddles!?

Godot:

The old guy wasn't just throwing seed in here. He was throwing us off the scent. And today I'll prove it.

Judge:

Very well. Let the first witness take the stand!

-

Godot:

And you are?

Armstrong:

Oh bonjour, everyone! I am Jean Armstrong. z'e owner and 'ead chef of la Trés Bien restaurant. Enchanté!

.........

Judge:

Forgive me for asking, witness, but... are you a woman?

Armstrong:

Oh lá lá! monsieur! As you can see, I am la pert and perky gentleman, non?

Judge:

Er... Umm...

Godot:

On the day of the incident, you were in Trés Bien's kitchen. Isn't that right?

Armstrong:

W'iz you monsieur...

Godot:

...?

Armstrong:

...everything feels right!

Godot:

Ha...!

Phoenix:

(Wow, he's totally unfazed! Doesn't anything intimidate this guy...?)

Judge:

Very well. Your testimony please, witness. Please tell the court what happened that day at Trés Bien.

Armstrong:

Oui! Volontiers!

-

Witness Testimony

-- At Trés Bien --

Armstrong:

When it all 'appened, z'ere were just two customers in my restaurant.

I remember I was experimenting w'iz some new art deco z'at day.

Like 'aving a large mirror between la tables, for example.

Oui! Per'aps z'at is what la old man was looking at.

La cup, la earpiece, and la glasses... 'E would 'ave seen everyz'ing in reverse, non?

-

Phoenix:

A m...m...m... MIRROR!?

Armstrong:

Oui! Un grand mirror! La most enormous mirror!

Godot:

And suddenly, the mystery disappears! Like I said, the world keeps turning, so roll with it!

Judge:

Hmm... That would explain the coffee cup and the earpiece conundrum... The mirror would have made everything appear back to front.

Phoenix:

(What the heck!? It's way too early in the morning for this to be happening to me!)

Judge:

Now then, Mr. Wright. You may begin your cross-examination.

-

Cross Examination

-- At Trés Bien --

Armstrong:

When it all 'appened, z'ere were just two customers in my restaurant.

Armstrong:

I remember I was experimenting w'iz some new art deco z'at day.

Armstrong:

Like 'aving a large mirror between la tables, for example.

Armstrong:

Oui! Per'aps z'at is what la old man was looking at.

Armstrong:

La cup, la earpiece, and la glasses... 'E would 'ave seen everyz'ing in reverse, non?

Phoenix:

(It's kinda hard to believe everything's the fault of a mirror, but...)

Maya:

Do you think Old Seedy saw everything through a reflection...?

Phoenix:

If he did, it would explain all the contradictions in his testimony.

Maya:

But that just makes the situation worse for Maggey! There's gotta be something in that old man's testimony! We've just gotta dig deeper!

-

Phoenix:

The coffee cup, the earpiece, and the HMD... Let's think back over Mr. Kudo's testimony for a second, shall we?

-

Kudo:

The boy was wearing the earpiece on the same side as the green lens of his specs.

-

Kudo:

No question! You can lock me up if I'm wrong! It was his left ear, without a doubt!

-

Phoenix:

So, to summarize... ...we were told both the HMD and the earpiece were on the victim's left side. Now, if Mr. Kudo saw all that as a reflection in a mirror... ...it means both the HMD and the earpiece were actually on the victim's right side.

Armstrong:

Exactement! You see, monsieur. Now z'at you think about it, it is not so 'ard, non?

Phoenix:

Unfortunately, that's where we run into a monumental contradiction with the facts! If Mr. Kudo really did see everything in a mirror... ...why is it that the HMD is now on the wrong side of his head!?

Judge:

Order! Order! ...Mr. Wright is correct! If the witness genuinely observed the victim reflected in a mirror... ...then we would expect the victim's eyepiece to have been over his right eye.

Godot:



Godot:

...How bitter. Trite, you should have a taste of this bitterness. It'll calm you down in no time.

Phoenix:

A-Are we talking about your coffee... or something completely different...?

Godot:

You don't understand the way the witness thinks.

Judge:

How he thinks?

Godot:

You remember this, I presume?

Phoenix:

The "I broke the vase... sorry" apology lett-- I mean Mr. Kudo's sworn testimony?

Godot:

Exactly. The old man has one very grievous habit ... other than throwing seeds. The more of an impression something makes, the more muddled his mind makes it. And what's the most striking thing about Mr. Elg?

Judge:

Clearly, it's the victim's eyepiece.

Godot:

And that's my point. The old man strikes again! Mr. Elg's HMD made a big impression on the old man. "I saw the earpiece and those new-fangled spectacles he was wearing! Oh, yes! They were both on his left ear! Do you hear? His left ear!" Ha...! Well, Trite?

Phoenix:

Urk... (That's the worst, but best impression of Kudo ever...)

Maya:

Wow! I really thought he was Old Seedy for a minute there! Godot's good!

Judge:

Enough! I must agree that yesterday's witness was irresponsibly rash in much of his testimony.

Maya:

Bad luck, Nick. Looks like the "boil" of a contradiction you found is just a "rash".

Godot:

A mirror can't be beaten by a handful of seeds, nor can it lie. So... What exactly was the old man looking at? Fill us in, Mr. Armstrong. Go on, tell the court. We're all ears.

Armstrong:

Oui. I can explain. Please, if you will look at la plans of la restaurant.

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Mirror --

Armstrong:

Alors. Is everyone sitting comfortably?

La mirror, it was in z'e middle of la restaurant, dividing z'e two 'alves.

Z'ere is only one seat from which you could 'ave seen an image of la victim.

Z'at was la seat at z'e table next to la victim's. Z'at was where la old man was sitting.

After la terrible incident occurred, I move la mirror so it was not in z'e way.

But naturally, I did not touch anything else!

-

Judge:

Hmm... I see no problems with the explanation we have just heard. From the table next to the victim's, Mr. Kudo could have seen the victim in the mirror.

Armstrong:

What a naughty little coquette I am, confusing all z'e men like z'is!

Godot:

Don't worry about it. We can keep up, except for the guy breaking out in a cold sweat over there again.

Phoenix:

(Argh! I hate that guy!)

Judge:

You said you didn't touch anything else apart from the mirror. Are you quite sure about that?

Armstrong:

Volontiers! Of course!

Judge:

Very well. Mr. Wright. Your cross-examination, if you please.

-

Cross Examination

-- The Mirror --

Armstrong:

La mirror, it was in z'e middle of la restaurant, dividing z'e two 'alves.

Armstrong:

Z'ere is only one seat from which you could 'ave seen an image of la victim.

Armstrong:

Z'at was la seat at z'e table next to la victim's. Z'at was where la old man was sitting.

Armstrong:

After la terrible incident occurred, I move la mirror so it was not in z'e way.

Armstrong:

But naturally, I did not touch anything else!

Maya:

It is pretty strange, though, isn't it? I mean, nobody mentioned anything about a really large mirror. You'd think someone would've, but Maggey didn't, and neither did Old Seedy.

Phoenix:

Then the only logical explanation is... ...that there was no mirror inside Trés Bien that day. (Now I've just got to prove it... Somehow...)

-

Phoenix:

There is one thing that was clearly demonstrated by yesterday's testimony. Mr. Kudo broke the vase that was on the table where he was sitting. And yet! As the court can see, there is an unbroken vase on the table next to the victim! Why? Because Mr. Kudo was not, in fact, sitting at the table next to the victim at all!

Godot:



Godot:

Don't be an idiot, Trite! That's impossible! That seat's the only one coudld've seen the victim's reflection from!

Phoenix:

Exactly!

Godot:

...!

Phoenix:

There is only one conclusion we can draw from this contradiction. There was no mirror in Trés Bien that day! Your testimony, Mr. Armstrong, is an elaborate lie!

Armstrong:

Mon dieeeeeeeu!

Godot:



Godot:

Don't try to confuse the court, Trite! Obviously, the witness cleaned up the vase... ...while the police were taking their time getting to the crime scene!

Phoenix:



Phoenix:

Unfortunately, Mr. Godot, that doesn't quite work for me. Mr. Armstrong already testified to the contrary. In his own words... "I did not touch anything else" except the mirror!

Godot:

Ur... urgh! ... Gaaaaaaaaargh!

Judge:

Well, witness? What do you have to say for yourself?

Armstrong:

* sniffle*

Phoenix:

(I was right! There was no mirror in the restaurant that day!)

Judge:

In light of this revelation, we return back to the original problem. Why did the victim have an earpiece in an ear in which he couldn't hear?

Godot:

Ha...! You only get one shot in life. There's no turning back. If you want to claim that the mirror wasn't there, Trite... ...then this problem is all yours. How do you explain what the old man saw?

Phoenix:

(If I can answer this, then I'll be that much closer to the truth! I can feel it!)

Maya:

...Are you going to be OK? Can you really solve this contradiction, Nick?

Phoenix:

There's more than just this one contradiction, Maya.

Maya:

What do you mean?

Phoenix:

Remember what Maggey told us? "There was another man at the victim's table." And, "there was a sample CD on the victim's table." It all flies in the face of Mr. Kudo's testimony. (And I think I know the reason why nothing in this case is adding up.)

Judge:

Well, Mr. Wright? Let's hear your answer.

Phoenix:

Yes, Your Honor. The reason behind all the contradictions in Mr. Kudo's testimony is simple.

Phoenix:

This case is riddled with contradictions. Yet, there is one very simple answer that clears them all up.

Judge:

A-And what is that?

Phoenix:

The incident Mr. Kudo witnessed, and the incident the victim experienced... ...were two completely different events!

Godot:

What!?

Phoenix:

Yes! The " victim " that Mr. Kudo saw wasn't Mr. Glen Elg at all! It was an imposter ; a phony pretending to be Mr. Elg! Obviously, unlike the victim, there was nothing wrong with the imposter's left eardrum. That's how he ended up wearing the earpiece in his left ear by mistake!

Godot:

Phwoooooooh!

Judge:

Order! Order in the court! Settle down, or I'll clear the courtroom!

Godot:

Quiet, gramps! Why don't you clear out of here, huh?

Judge:

WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Godot:

Trite... Are you saying what Mr. Kudo saw was a set-up ?

Phoenix:

Yes. Someone pretended to be Glen Elg and acted out the whole coffee poisoning. All for the express purpose of creating a "witness" out of one Mr. Victor Kudo!

Godot:



Godot:

Get real, Trite! Why would anyone want to do that?

Phoenix:

Isn't it obvious? The thing Mr. Kudo was most insistent about in his testimony was...

-

Kudo:

The serving girl brought him a javaccino... But she put something in it! That's the serving girl, right there in the defendant's chair. I remember her well!

-

Judge:

I-It's so hard to believe, but...

Phoenix:

There was one, and only one reason to show Mr. Kudo this fake poisoning! To show Maggey Byrde in the act of poisoning the coffee !

Godot:



Godot:

Are you insinuating that the waitress in the old man's story was a fake as well? It's true that there were no customers in the restaurant at the time, but... ...it's also true that the chef was there! He would have noticed what was happening.

Judge:

Th-That's right! Well, witness? If your restaurant really was the scene of such theatrics... ...you would have known about it, correct!?

Armstrong:

Oh lá lá... Z'is is most difficult for me...

Phoenix:



Phoenix:

No, it's quite simple. All you have to do is testify. You are under oath, after all. Was there, in fact, a phony at Trés Bien that day!? The defense demands that Mr. Armstrong tell the whole truth about what happened.

Judge:

The defense's request for additional testimony is accepted. You will accurately explain, in detail, the events in the restaurant that day!

Armstrong:

Ou... Oui.

-

Witness Testimony

-- In the Restaurant --

Armstrong:

La victim, Monsieur Elg, 'e came to my restaurant alone.

I remember la old man arrived not long after 'im.

Z'ere were no other customers.

When 'e got word 'e won la lottery, Mon. Elg became very excited.

It was approximately 5 minutes later z'at la poisoning incident occurred.

Non, z'ere was no time for a phony to do la acting.

-

Judge:

...Just so we're clear, there was no mirror in the restaurant, after all?

Armstrong:

Je vous demande pardon! Forgive me, Your Honor! I lied because I wanted z'is mess to be cleared up quickly.

Judge:

What you have just done is commit perjury, Mr. Armstrong! I will decide how to punish you later.

Armstrong:

O-Oui...

Judge:

For now, we will hear your cross-examination, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:

(Hmm.. He took that perjury charge a bit too well. But I'm guessing he'll be more serious trouble after this cross-examination!)

-

Cross Examination

-- In the Restaurant --

Armstrong:

La victim, Monsieur Elg, 'e came to my restaurant alone.

Armstrong:

I remember la old man arrived not long after 'im.

Armstrong:

I remember la old man arrived not long after 'im, just after 2 PM.

Armstrong:

Z'ere were no other customers.

Armstrong:

When 'e got word 'e won la lottery, Mon. Elg became very excited.

Armstrong:

It was approximately 5 minutes later z'at la poisoning incident occurred.

Armstrong:

Non, z'ere was no time for a phony to do la acting.

Maya:

I guess Mr. Armstrong is connected to this case, huh?

Phoenix:

Absolutely. Someone was impersonating Mr. Elg, and I refuse to believe he was oblivious. He was there the whole time, after all.

Maya:

But if you're right, wouldn't Maggey have noticed, too?

Phoenix:

She fell unconscious when the incident occurred, remember?

Maya:

Ah! You mean that's when the phony staged his act?

Phoenix:

We'll know for sure once I find a hole in this testimony.

-

Phoenix:

I'm afraid I've finally got you, Mr. Armstrong.

Armstrong:

Q-Quoi? What do you mean?

Phoenix:

At the time in question, the victim was listening to the radio with his earpiece. The show he was listening to was "Millionaire Radio". Each week, they announce the winning number of a half million dollar lottery ticket.

Armstrong:

Oui. Z'at must be la show Mon. Elg was listening to.

Judge:

I can't see any problem with this testimony, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:

I wonder...

Armstrong:

...?

Phoenix:

You say the victim arrived at your restaurant after 2 PM, correct?

Armstrong:

Oui, oui. I am sure of it. I remember it perfectly now! I know it was z'at time, because I 'ad just finished serving la lunch menu.

Godot:

Get to the point, Trite. If you have one.

Phoenix:

That show is broadcast live at 1:30 PM. And it claims to be "the most thrilling 10 minutes of your life"...

Judge:

I-It's on the air at 1:30!?

Phoenix:

Now, supposedly, the victim made some noise when it was announced that he had won. And yet... I don't believe his cry of joy could have occurred after 2 PM! Because the show had already finished more than 30 minutes earlier by that point in time!

Armstrong:

Nooooooooon!

Phoenix:

This "victim" we've been told about has done nothing but the impossible! Listening to the radio with a ruptured eardrum, catching a show that was already over... There is only one conclusion you can draw from these facts! This "victim" was an imposter, acting out the poisoning 30 minutes after the real murder! Yes, there were two Glen Elgs in Trés Bien that day. The real Glen Elg, now dead, having been poisoned by the real killer... ...and the phony Glen Elg, acting out the events for Mr. Kudo's witness!

Judge:

I-It certainly seems that way... I mean, if that wasn't the case, how could you explain the time discrepancy?

Godot:



Godot:

Quite a performance, Trite. You were almost on a roll.

Phoenix:

...!

Godot:

But sadly, you lack the rock hard foundation of rhythm to build your song!

Phoenix:

(...What is this? Music Theory 101?)

Godot:

Let's recap. According to your "imaginative" theory, it's now just after 2 PM... The phony Elg is performing a play for the benefit of Mr. Kudo. How do you explain then, where the real Glen Elg is!?

Phoenix:

I don't believe I have to spell this out for court! However! At that time, the real Glen Elg was already dead!

Judge:

That's certainly the obvious conclusion.

Godot:



Godot:

Thank you, Trite. That's exactly what I was hoping you would say.

Phoenix:

Wh-What!?

Godot:

Now, I presume you can prove this theory of yours...? Can you explain where the missing corpse went to!?

Phoenix:

Th-The missing corpse...?

Godot:

According to the old man's testimony, there was only one other customer there. If that "customer" was the phony Glen Elg... ...then where did the killer hide the body of the real victim!?

Phoenix:

Naaaaaargh!

Judge:

The prosecution has a valid point, Mr. Wright. If your theory is to stand up to examination by the court... ...you must provide us with proof by answering the prosecution's question. Where did the killer hide the body?

Phoenix:

Y-Yes, Your Honor...

Godot:

No conjecture, Trite. Let's hear some facts for once. Show the court a piece of evidence that proves where the was hidden!

Phoenix:

E-Evidence!?

Maya:

Wh-What's with the intense pressure in here all of a sudden!?

Phoenix:

(I thought I had him with that contradiction. But he's turned it all around and backed me into a corner instead!)

Judge:

Well, Mr. Wright? The court will now hear the defense's theory and evidence. First, where was the body of the real Mr. Elg concealed?

Judge:

Hmm... I see.

Godot:

Nice supposition. But the real question is, "Can you back it up?" Where's the evidence that proves the body was hidden in that location!?

Phoenix:

Mr. Armstrong! Do you recognize this bottle?

Armstrong:

Non! Non, non, non! I 'ave never seen z'at ugly bottle before in my life! I only use la very best bottles, monsieur! Z'e 'ighest quality only for me!

Judge:

Where was that bottle found, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix:

Interestingly enough, Your Honor. it was found in the kitchen of Trés Bien.

Armstrong:

Eh? Quoi!? But I only ever use z'ese bottles for my aromatherapy oils.

Phoenix:

But this bottle doesn't contain aromatherapy oil, Mr. Armstrong. No, it contains a medication.

Judge:

What kind of medication?

Phoenix:

I'm sure everyone remembers, don't they? That Mr. Elg visited an otolaryngological clinic, and was given medication that day!

Godot:

Y-You can't be serious...

Phoenix:

The defense had the contents of the bottle analyzed, and I have the lab results here! The contents of the bottle match the prescription that was given to Mr. Elg!

Godot:

Bwooooar!

Phoenix:

Glen Elg's murderer hid the body in the restaurant kitchen. At which time, this bottle fell out of the victim's pocket. Mr. Armstrong! When the incident occurred, didn't you say you were in the kitchen?

Armstrong:

M-M-Mon dieu!

Phoenix:

Yes, you know about what I'm about to say, It was YOU who hid the victim's body! You did a fine job pretending to defend my client, Maggey Byrde. However! You were setting her up to take the fall behind the poor girl's back!

Armstrong:

Nooooooooon!

Judge:

O-Order! Order! This is an extraordinary development. Witness! Did you... Did you murder Mr. Glen Elg?

Armstrong:

Never! I could not do such an 'orrible thing!

Godot:

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Judge:

M-Mr. Godot!?

Godot:

...The bitterness... Every time I get lied to, I always down a mug of coffee. ...That's one of my rules.

Phoenix:

(Do you have the slightest idea how many cups you've had by now...?)

Godot:

Then I like to do the same to the person who lied to me. I like to take them down with my empty cup! Listen up, chef! How about a brand new flavor in your ear, my "h" deficient friend?

Armstrong:

Je vous demande pardon! Please, you must 'ear me out! Is is a trap! Listen to me! Por favor!

Judge:

Yo hablo Español, Mr. Armstrong, and "Por favor" is Spainish.

Godot:

I'm only going to ask you once. Did you do it?

Armstrong:

Non! Non, non! Absolutely non! I simply... I...

Godot:

Let's hear it. You've got one shot. Right, gramps?

Judge:

Witness! The court will permit you the chance to make one final statement. If you lie under oath again, Mr. Godot's coffee mug awaits you... As does my gavel!

Armstrong:

O-Oui... It is clear.

Phoenix:

(What do they always say in the movies... "I've got a bad feeling about this...")

Judge:

Very well! Begin your final testimony, Mr. Armstrong!

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Confession --

Armstrong:

It is true, I 'id la body in la kitchen.

A man forced me to do it. I 'ad no choice.

I 'ad to go along w'iz 'im because... Z'ere was a reason why I could not refuse.

But I did not kill 'im! I swear it! You must believe me!

-

Judge:

You were "forced"? By who!?

Armstrong:

I-I cannot say! Or I will be... erased!

Phoenix:

Let's try a different question then. When Mr. Elg died, was he really the only person at his table?

Armstrong:

... Z'ere was... Z'ere was another man.

Phoenix:

(I knew it!)

Maya:

Maggey was telling the truth!

Judge:

You may cross-examine the witness now, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:

(There's just one more thing I need to do. I gotta break this guy, and get him to tell us the name of the real killer .)

-

Cross Examination

-- The Confession --

Armstrong:

It is true, I 'id la body in la kitchen.

Armstrong:

A man forced me to do it. I 'ad no choice.

Armstrong:

I 'ad to go along w'iz 'im because... Z'ere was a reason why I could not refuse.

Armstrong:

But I did not kill 'im! I swear it! You must believe me!

Maya:

He's already confessed this much! He might as well stop dancing around the real issue!

Phoenix:

Yeah. But he really doesn't want to tell us who the killer is.

Maya:

Then sock it to him, Nick!

Phoenix:

(Yeah, that's not a bad idea!)

-

Phoenix:

A half million dollar loan from a black-market loan shark. And you had no way of paying it back, did you? That's why you were forced to do anything this man told you.

Armstrong:

... Oui, it is as you say.

Maya:

Mr. Armstrong...

Armstrong:

La Tiger... 'E told me 'e was going to use my restaurant for a business rendez-vous. On la day in question, 'e was meeting la victim to demand z'at 'e repay 'is loan. I don't know why it 'appened like zat! I just did what 'e told me to do. I 'ad no choice! I carried la body and la inconscient Maggey out of la dining area... ...and into z'e kitchen. After z'at, I just tried to forget what I 'ad seen!

Phoenix:

I think we can now safely say that the man who forced your hand was Mr. Furo Tigre.

Judge:

Hmm... I do have one further question for you, Mr. Armstrong. The poison and the lottery ticket were recovered from the defendant's apron pocket. Was that your doing as well?

Armstrong:

Non! I knew nothing about z'at! Making it look like it was Maggey who 'ad done it... I was... I was not... It is déspicable!

Judge:

Mr. Godot!

Godot:

...

Judge:

You will summon this Furio Tigre as a witness! I doubt that can be arranged today, so we will adjorn for now. Proceedings will continue tomorrow...

Godot:

...Thirty minutes.

Judge:

Wh-What!?

Godot:

The trial will go on. I'll see to it myself. I need half an hour to get that guy on the stand. Not a minute more.

Phoenix:

H-How the...?

Godot:

Don't sit back and relax yet, Trite! No one knows if that chef is really telling the truth or not. This trial could still go either way.

Judge:

Very well. Your request is granted, Mr. Godot. We will resume once Mr. Tigre is ready to take the stand. Until then... Court is abjourned for a 30 minute recess!

-

To be continued.

-

January 8, 1:21 PM District Court Defendant Lobby No. 1

Maya:

So we're finally going to see The Tiger on the stand! We've almost got this case won now, Nick.

Phoenix:

I wish I could agree.

Maya:

Huh?

Phoenix:

When I cross-examined Mr. Armstrong just now... ...he said he was just doing what The Tiger told him to do. But Godot picked up on it, remember? He pointed out that without proof, we don't know if what he testified is the truth.

Maya:

You mean, you think Mr. Armstrong was lying?

Phoenix:

I don't know. But if that's the line the prosecution takes, we could be in trouble. (I get the feeling that we don't have the case-making evidence we're going to need.)

Hey, pal!

Phoenix:

Detective Gumshoe!

Maya:

What are you so jumpy about, Detective!? Your hair's standing on end!

Gumshoe:

Hey, that's the pot calling the kettle black, little Ms. Topknot!

Maya:

It's not a topknot!

Phoenix:

Never mind about the hair! Just calm down, alright?

Gumshoe:

I-I can't stand still when I don't have a job to do! I-I-I kinda get wound up. Aaaaaaargh!

Phoenix:

(No kidding!)

Gumshoe:

You gotta have something you need me to do, pal! Anything!

Phoenix:

Well, um...

Gumshoe:

Hey, I'm gonna take a jog back down to the percinct. I could get some prints analyzed for you if you've got an hour!

Phoenix:

An hour!? The trial will have reconvenced by then!

Maya:

But, Nick! We still don't have a really decisive piece of evidence, right?

Phoenix:

(True. Without some kind of trump card to pull out of the bag, we're really stuck...) You said you could get some fingerprint analysis done in an hour?

Gumshoe:

You bet!

Phoenix:

In that case, would you mind checking the prints on this for me?

Small Bottle given to Detective Gumshoe.

Gumshoe:

OK, I'll get this off to the lab right away. Just make sure you don't lose the case before I get back!

Phoenix:

(This is pretty much the final showdown, I guess...)

Maya:

It's time to separate the phonies from the real guys!

-

January 8, 1:56 PM District Court Courtroom No. 4

Judge:

Court will now reconvene. Mr. Godot. Did you find this Furio Tigre...?

Godot:

I even tamed him for you. It was a 3 cup job. No problem.

Phoenix:

(T-Tamed him...? The guy's name may be Furio Tigre, but come on...)

Godot:

He's pretty lively. Be careful... He still bites.

Judge:

Very well. Please show Mr. Tigre to the stand!

-

Judge:

...Um... Witness. Please state your name and occupation for th--

Tigre:

Grrraaaaaaaargh!

Maya:

Aaaaaaaah!

Phoenix:

(Don't hide under the table Maya! ...Unless there is room for me down there too!)

Judge:

I, uh... Um... W-W-W-Would you mind...

Tigre:

What'youse say to me!?

Judge:

N-N-N-Nothing! I didn't say nuddin'! Honest!

Phoenix:

(Who could've guessed that fear would induce a bad Brooklyn accent in the judge?)

Tigre:

I got business to take care of, ya hear me? So who the hell called me into dis hole? Was it you', spikey!?

Phoenix:

Ack, no. Of course not... It was... the judge... ... Your Honor!?

Judge:

Oh, dear! I, um... I seem to have dropped my pen. Where on earth is it...? Don't mind me! Just carry on with the proceedings as normal.

Phoenix:

(That's it. We're doomed.)

Tigre:

Maybe youse didn't haer me! I said, who the hell was it dat called me in here!?

Godot:

There's no need to shout. We can all hear you.

Tigre:

Whad'youse say?

Godot:

There's no point struggling. You're caught in a snare. The relentless snare of the law! And I'm the one that hauled you in!

Tigre:

Grrr...

Phoenix:

(T... Too cool...)

Maya:

Don't let him get the better of you, Nick!

Godot:

Let's start with the basics. You know about the incident in question, correct?

Tigre:

Incident!? I don't know nuthin' about no stinkin' incident, mask boy!

Godot:

You mean you didn't attend the previous trial of Maggye Byrde?

Tigre:

Maggey who!? I've got more important things to do dan watch courtroom dramas!

Judge:

Of course. Well, perhaps you could give us your testimony, then? Please tell us about what you did on the day of the murder.

Tigre:

...Hmph. Phoenix Wright!

Phoenix:

...!

Tigre:

Youse de one who sey dis up, didn't you'? Youse gonna regret the day you ruffled The Tiger's fur. You' hear what I'm sayin'?

Phoenix:

* gulp* (Maybe I should've brought a diaper with me today...)

Maya:

Get a grip, Nick!

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Tiger's Alibi --

Tigre:

I don't know nothin' about no murder.

I was tied up with business in December last year. Spent all'a my time in my office.

I got whales lined up to borrow cash from Tender Lender every single day.

Youse wanna check my alibi, just ask Violetta.

-

Judge:

Ah, at last I found my pen. Very well then, Mr. Wright. Your cross-examination, plea--

Tigre:

Aaaaargh!

Judge:

Wh-What is it!? Please, witness, if you could refrain from shouting out like that.

Tigre:

I know de kinda games dat guy in the blue plays! That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details 'til he wins.

Phoenix:

L-Lowlife...? Me?

Tigre:

Listen up, smarty! Every time you' ask me some'ding dat doesn't relate to dis case... ...I'm gonna bill you 50,000 dollars! And youse gonna borrow the cash from me!

Phoenix:

Uh... (That's one loan contract I refuse to sign!)

Tigre:

And don't think it ain't gonna hurt when you' get tangled with The Tiger!

Godot:

Ha...! I love a good spectator sport.

Judge:

J-J-Just a minute! That's really not...

Godot:

This witness is... How can I put it? A hungry tiger roaming the urban jungle! Get on his bad side, and he'll bite everyone's heads off. Yours, too!

Judge:

Very well. I have no choice but to impose a penalty system here.

Tigre:

Youse better be listening. I said I got business to take care of. Big business! If I don't split now, I ain't gonna catch my bus...

Judge:

The court will impose a penalty for any irrelevant pressing of witness testimony. Keep that in mind as you begin your cross-examination, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:

Y-Yes, Your Honor.

Maya:

You can do it, Nick!

Phoenix:

Come out from under there already, would you, Maya?

-

Cross Examination

-- The Tiger's Alibi --

Tigre:

I don't know nothin' about no murder.

Tigre:

I was tied up with business in December last year. Spent all'a my time in my office.

Tigre:

The day youse talkin' about, I was in de office, too. I never saw that kid before.

Tigre:

I got whales lined up to borrow cash from Tender Lender every single day.

Tigre:

Youse wanna check my alibi, just ask Violetta.

Maya:

Just think! All you have to do is press him on something irrelevant, and bam! $50,000!

Phoenix:

Get real, Maya! How about you pay back the money then. Your allowance should cover it!

Maya:

Hey! I'm no idiot, you know!

Phoenix:

(Well, I'M certainly not the one who thought the $50,000 was free money!) Anyway, I need to work this guy without pressing his testimony too hard.

Maya:

But his testimony is pretty solid as it is...

Phoenix:

(I admit nothing jumps out at me as a contradiction. But I've got to find an opening somewhere... Or I need to make one.)

-

Phoenix:

Mr. Tigre... You claim you didn't know Mr. Glen Elg. But it appears that Mr. Elg knew you.

Tigre:

What!?

Phoenix:

Mr. Elg left this little note on his calendar. " Meet with The Tiger "... Dated, December 3rd.

Judge:

D-December 3rd!? That's... the day of the murder!

Phoenix:

So, Mr. Tigre, I submit that you did indeed know one Mr. Glen Elg! Because on the very day of the incident, you met with him!

Tigre:

... Grrrah ha ha ha hah! Not bad! Youse actually not bad.

Phoenix:

S-Sorry?

Tigre:

I was just messin' with youse to see how good you' were.

Maya:

Did you hear that, Nick? He said you're not bad!

Phoenix:

(That's one compliment I can do without! Plus, he's lying through his teeth!)

Judge:

Um, witness. Please remember that you're under oath. Lies will not be tolerated.

Tigre:

Youse callin' me a liar!? Is that what you' doin'!?

Judge:

Ruh-roh!

Godot:

So you're saying that your claim to have "never seen that kid before" is the truth?

Tigre:

I said I'm dead serious! Youse betta believe that's truth!

Godot:

Ha...! Then I'd say that gives me time... to enjoy another cup of pure black magic! That is, while you testify for the court again, Mr. Tigre.

Judge:

Oh, yes! Um, would you mind indulging the court, witness?

Phoenix:

(He never actually met the victim!? That's got to be a lie right there! It's time I nailed this guy!)

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Victim, Glen Elg --

Tigre:

I ain't no liar. I never met Glen Elg.

There was some lame guy with that name, though. Wanted to borrow cash from me.

I set up a meetin' with the guy... at my office, Tender Lender.

I waited around for him, but he ain't ever showed.

I ain't never been to that Trés Bien joint, youse hear?

-

Judge:

I see... That all seems perfectly logical. You had arranged to meet with the victim, but he didn't show up.

Godot:

I've heard it's pretty hard to keep appointments when you're dead.

Judge:

Very well. You may begin your cross-examination, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix:

Yes, Your Honor!

Tigre:

Didn't I tell you I got a big deal goin' down today? I ain't gonna make my bus now. I'm gonna have to take the express train. That bill's goin' straight to you... Wright!

Phoenix:

Grr...

-

Cross Examination

-- The Victim, Glen Elg --

Tigre:

I ain't no liar. I never met Glen Elg.

Tigre:

There was some lame guy with that name, though. Wanted to borrow cash from me.

Tigre:

I set up a meetin' with the guy... at my office, Tender Lender.

Tigre:

I waited around for him, but he ain't ever showed.

Tigre:

I ain't never been to that Trés Bien joint, youse hear?

Maya:

Do you think he really didn't meet Glen Elg?

Phoenix:

Not likely. Because I'm convinced this guy's behind the whole thing.

Maya:

So you mean... that whole testimony he just gave was a lie?

Phoenix:

Of course. So we can't afford to give him time to think of ways to plug the leaks in it. I've got to nail him while I still can!

-

Phoenix:

Mr. Tigre. Is there something you'd like to tell the court about these matches?

Tigre:

Matches? What youse talkin' about?

Phoenix:

We found them in your office at Tender Lender. They're from "that" restaurant.

Tigre:

Wh...!?

Phoenix:

If you've really never been to Trés Bien before... ...what was a book of the restaurant's matches doind on your desk!?

Tigre:

Youse been snoopin' around in my stuff now too, wiseguy!? What are you', my ball and chain!? Ain't no broad controlling me!

Judge:

Order! Order! Well, witness? I think it's time you started telling us the truth, don't you?

Tigre:

Grrraaaaargh!

Judge:

S-Sorry! I'm terribly sorry! Forgive me!

Tigre:

I ain't no pussy-cat! I don't go back on what I said! But, OK... I was at the joint that day.

Phoenix:

Whaaat!?

Tigre:

But listen good, alright? I might've been there, but I still never met that kid.

Godot:

Well, well... Looks like an order just came in for another testimony.

Phoenix:

(I'm this close to proving it was him! He did meet Glen Elg that day. And he did out poison in his coffee! He must have!)

-

Witness Testimony

-- At Trés Bien --

Tigre:

I was supposed to meet wid the kid at the restaurant that afternoon.

When I opened the door to the joint, I saw one ugly scene.

The guy was laid out over the table, stiff as concrete.

I figured if the place wasn't hot already, it was gonna be, so I split.

I heard the cop's sirens on my way out, and I went straight back to my office.

-

Judge:

I see... You didn't actually meet with him in the end, then. Well, Mr. Wright. Your cross-examination, please.

Phoenix:

Yes, Your Honor.

Tigre:

Hold it! If I wait around here any longer, I ain't even gonna make the normal express. No more stupid questions.

Godot:

Ha...! No problem. Any time Trite presses you on something irrelevant, I'll see he pays a penalty.

Judge:

M-Mr. Godot! That's my job!

Godot:

Your job is to slam that little hammer of yours and call a guilty verdict. So do it!

Judge:

Y-Yes, sir!

Tigre:

The special express ain't cheap, Wright! Just so youse know since youse payin'!

Phoenix:

(Oh, man. Doesn't the rule of law mean anything around here!?)

-

Cross Examination

-- At Trés Bien --

Tigre:

I was supposed to meet wid the kid at the restaurant that afternoon.

Tigre:

When I opened the door to the joint, I saw one ugly scene.

Tigre:

The guy was laid out over the table, stiff as concrete.

Tigre:

I figured if the place wasn't hot already, it was gonna be, so I split.

Tigre:

I heard the cop's sirens on my way out, and I went straight back to my office.

Maya:

Well, Nick? What do you think?

Phoenix:

He's running out of ways to avoid the truth. I need to press him fast before he has time to think things through. I've got to come right back at him with a contradiction!

Maya:

Be careful what you press him on, though, or you'll get penalized, OK?

-

- - -