Recipe for Turnabout - Transcript - Part 1



Judge: That's enough! This court sees no reason to further prolong the trial. This case is extremely clear. I see no room for misinterpretation of the facts.

I-It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't me!

Judge: The evidence and testimony we have seen and heard are conclusive! The victim was alone at his table when he drank from that poisoned cup of coffee.

No! You're wrong! I know what I saw...! I saw... I saw...!

I saw someone else there! A man. He's the real killer!

Why won't anyone believe me?

-

Payne: Well... I'd say that pretty much wraps this case up, wouldn't you... ...Mr. Wright!?

Judge: This court finds the defendant...

Guilty

Judge: The court is adjourned.

-

January 6, 10:03 AM Wright & Co. Law Offices

Maya: Ahh! The start of the new year always makes me feel like I can take on the whole world!

Phoenix: I bet it does, Maya.

Maya: So! I've decided that our resolution should be... Zvarri! "Take on the world!" What do you think?

Phoenix: Sure, whatever, Maya... But I think maybe you've had more than enough mistletoe cake.

Maya: Never! You've got to eat a lot of cake during New Year's! It's practically a tradition! Like watching the fireworks on TV or playing a board Game.

???: HEY, PAL!

Phoenix: Detective Gumshoe...

Maya: Happy New Year, Detective!

Gumshoe: Uh... likewise... NOW LISTEN UP, WRIGHT! I WANNA...

Maya: Here's to another fruitful year of lawyer-police cooperation!

Gumshoe: Um... Yeah... Me too... ALRIGHT, PAL! YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO...

Maya: Have you got a holiday present for me, Detective?

Gumshoe: A what? Well... I, um... Here, have this. It-It's really nothing much, but...

Maya: Yay! Thanks!

Gumshoe: LOOK, PAL, WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK. TAKE A SEAT!

Maya: Hey! What about Pearly? You haven't forgotten her present, have you?

Gumshoe: Ah... N-No... I mean, yes... I mean, no... Are you doing this on purpose?

Maya: Ha ha, guess I'm busted. How did you like my first practical joke of the year?

Gumshoe: Very funny, pal. Now let's see how funny you think it is when I show you this!

Phoenix: What is it? A magazine?

Maya: Hey, I wanna see! "Deadly Poisoning Brings Guilty Verdict. Defense Attorney Wright Trounced ."

Phoenix: Tr-Trounced!? Let me see that! "The defense attorney gave an almost childishly amateur performance yesterday..." What the heck is this!?

Gumshoe: It's a report, pal. About you!

Maya: Listen to this! "Mr. Wright must take full responsibility for the ruling in this case."

Gumshoe: WELL!? And don't tell me you don't remember anything about it!

Phoenix: But I don't remember anything about it! When was that issue from anyway?

Gumshoe: Umm... December of last year, which I guess makes it last month.

Maya: Which makes it old news, you mean.

Phoenix: But I wasn't involved in a poisoning case in December!

-

Maya: Hmm, so what do you think this is all about, Nick?

Gumshoe: If it wasn't you, pal, then that leaves only one possibility...

Maya: No way. You don't mean...

Phoenix: A pho...

Maya: A phony Nick!?

Phoenix: (This must be Gumshoe's idea of a joke. Guess he's starting off the year with one, too...)

Magazine Clipping added to the Court Record.

Gumshoe: SO! What are you gonna do about it, pal!?

Phoenix: What do you mean, what am I going to do about it?

Maya: Well, it's your fault that the judge found the defendant guilty in this case!

Phoenix: My fault!? How do you figure that?

Maya: Because THE Phoenix Wright is super famous now! Well, maybe only sort of...

Gumshoe: Yeah. See what happens when you hotshots start getting too full of yourselves?

Phoenix: (But I didn't do anything wrong! ...At least, not that I can remember...)

Gumshoe: You better make this right, pal. Now! And that means taking the case back to court. Got it?

Maya: Sounds like we've got our first case of the new year! Let's tackle it with gusto!

Phoenix: I don't know... The judge already issued a guilty verdict once in this case. It's not going to be easy to get it overturned.

Maya: ... I guess that New Year's resolution is going to have to wait until next year.

Gumshoe: So you're taking the case, right!? Good! I'm gonna head over to the courthouse then. After that, I'll go back to the precinct. Drop by if you need something, OK pal!?

-

Phoenix: (I guess people are starting to know the name, "Phoenix Wright". If a client entrusted a case to me based on my reputation... I guess I am kind of responsible. But why would someone want to impersonate me? What sort of a guy would do that?)

-

-

January 6 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Maya: It's been ages since we came down to the precinct, huh, Nick?

Phoenix: Looks like Gumshoe isn't around.

Maya: He's got it so easy, leaving everyone else to do the work!

Phoenix: No, he's been out there somewhere. My bet is on the courthouse. He's probably trying to arrange the retrial of this case.

Maya: Guess that means we should go to the detention center and chat with our killer, huh?

Phoenix: After being convicted without a fair trial, I'm not sure killer is the right label...

-

January 6 Detention Center Visitor's Room

Maya: This is so nerve-wracking, waiting to meet our new client. I wonder just what kind of person you tricked and got found guilty...?

Phoenix: K-Keep it down, Maya! That kind of talk could ruin me!

???: Aaaaaaaah! How could you, Mr. Wright!? How could you do this to me!? They put me in solitary! I haven't been able to stop crying.

Phoenix: A-Aren't... you...

???: Yes, I am! I am totally and utterly let down!

Maya: Aah! You're... Are you...?

??? Don't pretend you don't know me! It's me, Maggey, remember!? Maggey Byrde!

Phoenix: Maggey Byrde... Ah!

-

Phoenix: (Maggey Byrde... She's the policewoman I defended that one time. She was accused of murdering her lover. He was a cop, too.)

-

Phoenix: What are you doing in here!? Didn't I get you acquitt--

Byrde: Oh, sure! Very funny! After that fifth-rate defense job, you come in here and start making jokes!?

Maya: You better hurry up and tell her what happened, Nick.

-

Byrde: O-Oh... I see...

Phoenix: So that's where we stand right now.

Maya: I'm sorry you've been caught up in another murder...

Byrde: My whole life has been nothing but a whirlwind of bad luck and failures.

Phoenix: (I vaguely remember her saying the exact same thing last time...)

Byrde: But I don't mind! What's one more disaster in my life? At least now the real Mr. Wright is here with me. I won't let the world keep me down, sir!

(Clearing all "Talk" options and presenting Magazine Clipping leads to:)

Byrde: Mr. Wright... Do you think it's possible to get a retrial?

Phoenix: Probably. The court ruled in the absence of a genuine defense attorney. So we should be able to get a retrial.

Byrde: Um... Mr. Wright...?

Phoenix: ?

Byrde: Do you think we'll win next time? ...Sir?

Phoenix: ...!

Byrde: My life has been a full course meal of bad luck, complete with defeat for dessert. Since I was 6 months old, when I fell from the 9th floor of my apartment building... ...I've been hit by all sorts of vehicles, gotten sick from all sorts of foods... ...failed at almost every test I've taken, experienced almost every kind of disaster... I even landed a phony lawyer when I had the misfortune of being accused of murder. But! I will survive! Because Maggey Byrde always lives to fight another day! And one day, I'll find it! Just you wait and see, sir! I'll find that one, single moment of good luck!

Maya: Argh, Xin Eohp is really gonna pay for this!

Phoenix: Wh-What are you staring at me like that for...? (But Maya's right... Whoever it is that thought it was a good idea to use my name... ...and get an innocent girl convicted of murder had better watch out!)

Maya: We'll find him! Don't you worry. We'll get Xin Eohp for you!

Byrde: Thank you! Oh! I'll tell you where Trés Bien is then!

Phoenix: Trés... Ah, right. The restaurant where the murder took place.

Byrde: Yes, sir. When you go, please tell Mr. Armstrong I said hi!

Maya: Sure! Alright, Nick! Let's go check out this restaurant and its food!

-

January 6 Trés Bien

Maya: Wow! Look at this place.

Phoenix: "Look"? More like "smell"... What is with the suffocating scent of flowers in here...? Then again, girls like that sort of thing, right?

Maya: Actually, I'm not all that into it...

Phoenix: ...

Maya: ... No one's coming to seat us. Maybe there's no one here.

Phoenix: Don't be silly, Maya. This is a restaurant, and it's open for business. HELLO! ANYONE HERE? ... I don't believe it! There really isn't anyone here!

Maya: Perfect! Let's get intrusive! If there's no one here, we can take anything we want!

Phoenix: (Yeah, I suppose we can...)

-

Wright & Co. Law Offices

-

Detention Center

(Presenting Sports Paper leads to:)

-

January 6 Trés Bien

???: Oh lá lá! Bon-JOUR! Welcome to la Trés Bien!

Maya: Oh! Hel... lo... ...

Phoenix: (What happened to Maya? She's frozen stiff...)

???: Bienvenue! Welcome to my petite restauranté!

Maya: Huh? "Bee Avenue"?

???: Oh, non, my petite chulip!

Maya: Huh? Me?

???: Look at z'is face! Like la kitten rejected by its own mother. You are fatigued, non? Alors! You need z'is! An aromatic bath oil mélange of la néroli and la rose. My personal recommendation!

Maya: You think I need what...?

???: Oui, oui! Just add a couple of drops of z'is mixture to la bath water, and voilá! It will soothe your body and your mind. It's simply fantastique!

Maya: Really?

???: And for la monsieur!

Phoenix: Who? Me?

???: Look at z'at face! Like la puppy rejected by life itself! You are fatigued, non? For you, monsieur, I recommend z'is! Oil of bergamot. And maybe a 'int of... Oui, Oui! I will add la peppermint and la clary sage for a fragrance exceptionnel! Such an invigorating recipe will bring out your delicious beauty, monsieur!

Phoenix: M-My beauty!?

???: Alors. If you will be seated, I will bring you la special menu of z'e day!

Phoenix: Actually, we're not here to eat. We're lawyers.

???: Mais bien sûr! I know z'is already, monsieur. You are la Phoenix Wright, non?

Phoenix: Um, yes... You know me?

???: Mais, oui oui! I never forget a man who flirts wiz me! Especially in court!

Maya: I guess he was cross-examined by our mysterious Xin Eohp...

Phoenix: It looks like everyone to do with this case knows who "I" am already.

Maya: I wonder what sort of impression Xin Eohp's been leaving on people, don't you?

Armstrong: Allow me to introduce myself to you again. I am Jean Armstrong. Enchanté!

(Clearing all "Talk" options leads to:)

Phoenix: Um, Mr. Armstrong... Could I just confirm something with you again? The table where the victim was sitting... Was anyone else sitting there?

Armstrong: ... Z'at is a question you will 'ave to ask 'im yourselves.

Maya: Huh? "'Im"?

Armstrong: La old man spends all of 'is time dans la parc.

Phoenix: La p-parc? Oh, a park? What park's that?

Armstrong: Behind la restaurant. It is called, " Vitamin Square ".

Maya: Thank you!

Armstrong: Je vous en prie, my dear!

Maya: Let's go check out this Vitamin Square right now, Nick!

-

January 6 Vitamin Square

Maya: So this is Vitamin Square.

Phoenix: Yeah. I see where they get the name from now. The fruits scream "VITAMINS!" at you.

Maya: Hey, Nick! That's the guy, right? Isn't that the old man Mr. Armstrong was talking about?

Phoenix: That grouchy-looking grandpa?

Maya: He's throwing seeds out for the pigeons.

Phoenix: Maya, he's not throwing seeds for them, he's throwing seeds AT them!

Old Man: ...

Phoenix: (Ugh... My grumpiness-threat level has just been raised to red...)

-

Detention Center

-

Trés Bien

(Presenting Job Listings leads to:)

-

Vitamin Square

-

January 6 Detention Center Visitor's Room

Phoenix: Looks like they have Maggey in questioning. I guess I've asked her pretty much everything... I'll come back if there's anything else I need to ask her later.

-

January 6 Wright & Co. Law Offices

Phoenix: Poor Maya. It looks like Mr. Armstrong's really taken a shine to her. I suppose I'll just have to let her work at the restaurant for a while. I'll go pick her up from Trés Bien once things have cooled off.

-

January 6 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Gumshoe: Well, pal!? Have you found the evidence yet!? The one that's gonna find her innocent!?

Phoenix: Um, no. Not yet. We've only just started our investigation.

Gumshoe: Well, whatever you need to know, I'll give you the dirt on it. I'm putting off all my other cases for now, pal!

Phoenix: (Gumshoe's really fired up about this...)

Gumshoe: Oh, yeah! One more thing! The retrial's been approved. Court's sitting at 10 AM tomorrow. And Godot's gonna be the prosecutor...

Phoenix: (Oh. ... Him.)

Gumshoe: Now, listen up, pal! If Maggey's found guilty again...

Phoenix: Y-Yes...?

Gumshoe: Um... I'll... I'll make sure you get locked up good for it, got it!?

{{NavBox row

{{NavBox row Gumshoe: Is that thing real, pal?

Phoenix: Why does everybody keep asking me that?

Gumshoe: I wonder what this phony of yours is like...

Phoenix: He had Maggey found guilty of murder. Doesn't that tell you? {{Color|#0070C0|(I've got to track this creep down!)}} }}

{{NavBox row Gumshoe: I wasn't at the trial myself. But I asked this one detective I know how your defense was.

Phoenix: And what did he say?

Gumshoe: He started off by saying, "I'm at a complete loss for words..." But he must have found some quick because he went on about how bad you were for an hour.

Phoenix: But...

Gumshoe: He said you sucked so much, it seemed like you were {{Color|#E16935|trying to get Maggey found guilty}}!

Phoenix: {{Color|#0070C0|(It looked like I was "trying to get Maggey found guilty"...?)}} }}

{{NavBox row Gumshoe: What's that? A sports paper?

Phoenix: Yeah. I found it in the magazine rack at Trés Bien.

Gumshoe: It's dated {{Color|#E16935|the same day as the murder}}. You may be onto something here.

Phoenix: And take a look at this. See this writing here?

Gumshoe: "MC Bomber"... Hey!

Phoenix: What is it?

Gumshoe: I've heard that name somewhere before. Yeah, "MC Bomber"...

Phoenix: (Wow, he actually seems to be thinking for once!)

Gumshoe: Ack, it's no good. I can't remember...

Phoenix: (...And he goes back to being the Gumshoe we all know and love.)

Gumshoe: Hey, pal. I'm gonna borrow this paper for a bit, OK? I wanna get a {{Color|#E16935|handwriting}} analysis done on this scribble.

Phoenix: {{Color|#0070C0|(Handwriting, huh? It'd be good to know more about that, in any case...)}}}

Gumshoe: Thanks, pal! I bet this'll turn out to be interesting clue!

{{Color|#0070C0|Sports Paper given to Detective Gumshoe.}} }}

}}

(Clearing all "Talk" options and presenting Magazine Clipping leads to:)

-

January 6 Trés Bien

Phoenix: The scent of flours sure is strong. It's almost making me dizzy... Oh, um... Hello. (Who was that just now? A customer? She had sort of a dark aura about her...)

???: Ah! Welcome! Bee avenue!

Phoenix: (Wow. What a cute voice.)

Maya: Oh, it's just you, Nick.

Phoenix: M-Maya!

Maya: Well? How do I look?

Phoenix: ... Maybe you should quit being a spirit medium...

Maya: Maybe. But it's kind of boring being a waitress. I mean, you're my first ever customer.

Phoenix: (Then who was that woman I just saw?)

Maya: Oh, oh! Since you're here, you might as well have something to eat!

Phoenix: ... I am kind of hungry, actually.

(Clearing all "Talk" options leads to:)

Phoenix: Um... About the lunch...

Maya: Oh! A fine choice, sir.

Phoenix: No. I, um...

Maya: KITCHEN! A LUNCH SPECIAL, PLEASE! WITH ALL THE EXTRAS: DRINK, SIDE SALAD, DESSERT, AND GIFT!

Phoenix: I don't need any of that!

Maya: Just a moment, please, sir.

Phoenix: (Maya's really getting into this! So how much is this set lunch, then? 20 dollars, huh? But with the drink, side salad, and dessert, it's... 45 dollars!?) Hey, wait a sec! Maya!

Maya: Sorry to keep you waiting, sir! Here you are, our deluxe Fortify lunch set!

Phoenix: Whoa!

Maya: A dish inspired by lobster and abalone fricassée with balsamic vinaigrette. Bon appétit!

Phoenix: Um, thanks...?

Maya: Come on, Nick! Hurry up and try it already!

Phoenix: (Lobster, huh? Alright... Down the hatch it goes...) ... Urp!

Maya: Well?

Phoenix: Are you hungry, Maya?

Maya: I'm starving!

Phoenix: Here. It's yours.

Maya: Really!? ... Urp!

Phoenix: Remember, Maya. My wallet doesn't print money, so you'd better polish off that plate!

Maya: ... I-I've just remembered! I've got to clean the toilets!

Phoenix: Hey! (You can't be in that much of a hurry to clean the toilets!)

Trés Bien Lunch Special added to the Court Record.

Phoenix: How does that guy manage to make good food taste so bad?

Maya: Hey, Nick... You want to take a peek at the kitchen?

Phoenix: (The kitchen, huh? Not a bad idea.)

-

January 6 Trés Bien Kitchen

Maya: And here it is! The famous Trés Bien kitchen! It's my first time in here too, actually.

Phoenix: ... There is a weird atmosphere in here, that's for sure.

Maya: Mr. Armstrong will be back soon, so we'd better search quickly! Chop, chop!

(Examining Table leads to:)

(Examining Oils leads to:)

-

January 6 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Gumshoe: Hey, you're just in time!

Phoenix: What is it, Detective Gumshoe?

Gumshoe: The lab got back to me about that newspaper you gave me. Phoenix: (He must mean this sports paper with the memo scribbled on it...) So? What did they say? Did the analysis turn up anything?

Gumshoe: They said the doodle was written by the victim, Glen Elg. No doubt about it.

Phoenix: (I expected as much...)

Gumshoe: The victim took the paper with him to the restaurant on the day of the murder. That's our best interpretation of the facts at the moment.

Sports Paper refiled into the Court Record.

Gumshoe: " MC Bomber "... I get the feeling I've heard that name somewhere before... Oh, well. I guess it'll come back to me. Don't forget to report back to me with whatever you find in the restaurant, OK, pal?

Phoenix: (Since when did I start taking orders from Gumshoe...? Although... I get the feeling there's something I need to show him ...)

Gumshoe: Um... I'll... I'll make sure you get locked up good for it, got it!?

-

January 6 Vitamin Square

Phoenix: Hmm, the old guy's not here anymore. (Drat. And I still have some unanswered questions for him.)

(Examining scooter leads to:)

-

Criminal Affairs Dept.

-

Trés Bien

Presenting Victor Kudo's profile leads to:

Vitamin Square

Phoenix: Um, sir...

Kudo: Hmph! You again? ...

Maya: ?

Kudo: Hmm... Well, well... I see...

Maya: Uh, Nick. His eyes are burning into me!

Phoenix: It's OK. I think it's going pretty well.

Kudo: ... Kah!

Phoenix: Huh?

Kudo: You're still just a little child! Run along and play on the silde, alright?

Maya: P-Play on the silde?

Phoenix: (Argh! We were so close! Just a little more and he would've spilled...)

Kudo: Hmm, ha-hmm, hmm... Hmm, pi-pi-pigeon, hmm... Kah!

Phoenix: (How can we crack this guy?)

???: Um, excuse me please, sir...

Kudo: Quiet! Can't you see I'm feeding... the... pige...

Phoenix: Mia!?

Kudo: Well...

Mia: If you don't mind, sir... I'd really love to talk with you.

Kudo: Yes. Yes, yes. Of course. Certainly. I'm Victor. Victor Kudo.

Phoenix: (Even from beyond the grave... Wow...)

(Talking about "Armstrong's secret", "Trés Bien regular", and "Armstrong's record" leads to:)

-

Criminal Affairs Dept.

-

January 6 Trés Bien

Maya: I guess it's about time to wrap up today's investigation.

Phoenix: Had enough of being a waitress?

Maya: Yeah. Plus, no one came to the restaurant...

Armstrong: Oh lá lá! Mademoiselle Maya! Non! 'Ow can you leave like z'is!?

Maya: I-I'm sorry...

Phoenix: (That reminds me. Mr. Armstrong had a Psyche-Lock or three, didn't he? I'm going to have to break those...) Mr. Armstrong. I hope you won't mind, but I'd like to have another word with you...

Armstrong: Volontiers! Of course!

-

(Talking about "Maggey's motive" and "Winning ticket" leads to:)

To be continued.

-

January 7, 9:48 AM District Court Defendant Lobby No. 1

Byrde: Oh... I see... I guess I should've expected this. Nobody saw the other guy, huh? But he was there when I took the coffee over, sir. Scout's honor!

???: Maggey!

Byrde: Ack! D-Detective Gumshoe!

Gumshoe: A-Are you doing alright!? How're you feeling!?

Byrde: ...As if you need to ask either question, sir.

Gumshoe: Don't let 'em get you down, Maggey. And don't forget to eat well, OK?

Byrde: Roger!

Gumshoe: And you!

Phoenix: Y-Yes?

Gumshoe: You'd better square this case away, got it pal!? Maggey's innocent, you hear!? If you screw up, then I'll be doing some squaring away myself. Squaring away some paperwork for your arrest!

Phoenix: (I-I think he's serious!)

Maya: Hey, Detective! You're on our side for once, right?

Gumshoe: Yup.

Maya: So you'll be able to help Maggey out, right?

Byrde: Really? Can you, sir!?

Gumshoe: O... Of course! I've got the simulation under control! I'm gonna be the first witness on the stand today. If something I say doesn't mesh with the facts, make sure you point it out, alright?

Phoenix: S-Sure.

Gumshoe: OK. We're forming a united front today, pal. You get me!?

Byrde: I can't tell you how grateful I am, sir! I've always admired you so much, Detective. I know I can count on you.

Maya: Looks like it should all go pretty smoothly today, huh?

Phoenix: (I can only wish...)

-

January 7, 10:00 AM District Court Courtroom No. 4

Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Maggey Byrde.

Phoenix: The defense is ready, Your Honor.

Godot: ... Aaah, bitter!

Judge: Mr... Um... Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: Y-Yes, Your Honor?

Judge: Aaaah!

Phoenix: Wh-What's wrong!?

Judge: Nothing. It's just whenever I addressed you in the previous trial, your response was... "Youse talkin' to me!?" It was a little, well... intimidating.

Phoenix: No, no! That wasn't me. That was the phony Phoenix.

Judge: I see. So our trusty Phoenix Wright is back with us now, is he?

Phoenix: ("Our trusty"...?)

Judge: So, Mr. Godot. Your opening statement, please.

Godot: Mr. Trite... Whether you're a fake or the real deal... We will find out soon enough through this trial today.

Phoenix: But I can already tell you! I'm the real Phoenix Wright!

Godot: I wasn't questioning whether you are Phoenix Wright or not. I was questioning whether you had studied law or not. That's what I intend to find out.

Phoenix: (There's no denying it. Behind that mask is a man who really hates me for some reason or another!)

Judge: As everyone is aware, the court has already given its verdict on this case once. Therefore, I won't stand for irrelevant testimony during this retrial. Nor will I stand for a simple repetiton of the evidence presented in the last trial.

Phoenix: (I'm not planning on repeating anything that phony me said! Trust me!)

Judge: Now then. Mr. Godot, please summon your first witness.

-

Godot: Let's start with the formalities, shall we? Name and occupation?

Gumshoe: ...

Judge: Witness! State your name for the court!

Gumshoe: Huh? Oh, sorry, sir! The name's Police Department Detective. Occupation, Dick Gumshoe.

Godot: Other way around, Detective.

Gumshoe: Huh? Oh! Sorry. Anyway, I'm the officer in charge of this case since yesterday, sir!

Judge: Since yesterday?

Gumshoe: Yeah. The guy who was on the initial investigation's tied up with another case now.

Maya: I hope Gumshoe's really got everything under control... For everyone's sake.

Judge: I see. So, Detective Gumshoe... Would you outline for the court the basic facts of the case?

Gumshoe: Y-Y-Yes, sir. The victim's name was Glen Elg. He was a professional programmer. He was on the payroll of Blue Screens Inc., a local company. This is the victim's autopsy report.

Judge: The court accepts this into evidence.

Glen's Autopsy Report added to the Court Record.

Gumshoe: Um... And here are the floor plans of the restaurant. When the incident took place, the victim was sitting right here. The poisoned coffee was brought over to him by the, um... By the waitress.

Judge: The waitress being the accused ?

Gumshoe: Yeah... The victim died from poisoning almost immediately after he took a sip of the coffee. At the time of the incident, there were two other people in the restaurant. Mr. Jean Armstrong, the owner and chef. And a regular by the name of Mr. Victor Kudo.

Judge: Hmm... It still seems to be a very straightforward case to me.

Trés Bien Floor Plans added to the Court Record.

Godot: Come, Detective. Take up this hammer. And nail the defendant's coffin shut with your own two hands.

Judge: Now then, Detective Gumshoe. Let's have your testimony.

Gumshoe: Umm... Yes, sir...

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Incident --

Gumshoe: When the incident took place, the victim was alone at his table, sir. We understand that the guy, Glen Elg, was listening to the radio at the time. Traces of poison were found in his coffee cup. And what we found was potassium cyanide. That stuff really packs a punch! And, um... it looks like Ms. Byrde might've had, well... some kind of a motive.

-

Judge: Hmm...

Godot: Using the drak, aromatic depths of coffee to conceal the poison... Classy lady!

Judge: The facts of this case seem to be ironcald. Mr. Wright. I would ask you to begin your cross-examination, but...

Phoenix: Yes?

Judge: Please, no intimidation tricks this time around. Is that understood?

Phoenix: I already told you! That wasn't me!

-

Cross Examination

-- The Incident --

Gumshoe: When the incident took place, the victim was alone at his table, sir.

Gumshoe: We understand that the guy, Glen Elg, was listening to the radio at the time.

Gumshoe: Traces of poison were found in his coffee cup.

Gumshoe: And what we found was potassium cyanide. That stuff really packs a punch!

Gumshoe: And, um... it looks like Ms. Byrde might've had, well... some kind of a motive.

Maya: You really think there are any contradictions in this testimony?

Phoenix: To be honest, I don't know.

Maya: But Gumshoe told us out in the lobby. He said we'd be forming a united front, right? How will we win the case if he doesn't throw us a line?

Phoenix: (I don't have a whole lot of options right now... The best I can do is gather the facts together, I guess.)

-

(Fully pressing 1th, 3rd and 5th statement leads to:)

Judge: That's enough! The facts of this case seem overwhelmingly clear to me. The defendant had ample opportunity to commit the crime of which she is charged. Futhermore, it seems beyond reasonable doubt that she did indeed commit this crime.

Godot: I like an old man who knows the score.

Judge: There is also the matter of the half a million dollar lottery ticket. That alone provides a very credible motive. I mean, for that sum of money even I might be tempted to bend the rules!

Godot: I don't like an old man who is weak to the siren call of money.

Maya: Not good, Nick... The evidence against Maggey is starting to pile up fast.

Phoenix: Yeah, that's because the court has ruled guilty once already.

Godot: I'd say it's about time to wrap up this repeat performance... ...with one final, decisive piece of evidence.

Phoenix: (He's got more evidence against Maggey!?)

Godot: This is the apron the delightful Ms. Byrde was wearing at the time.

Maya: Wow... That's not the cleanest apron I've seen...

Phoenix: Th-That stain looks like...! (It can't be... blood, can it!?)

Godot: Ha...! It seems the star of our play was a little flustered... And somehow spilled coffee on herself.

Phoenix: The coffee!? That's not exactly the first thing that caught my eye...

Godot: Of course. The coffee stain isn't the most interesting thing about this apron. No, there's something else that stands out even more.

Judge: Something else? I presume you mean...

Godot: Of course. I'm referring to the pocket.

Phoenix: The... pocket?

Godot: A search carried out right after the incident uncovered this... Potassium cyanide. The very poison used by the killer, was in her apron pocket!

Phoenix: A bottle of poison... In Maggey's pocket?

Gumshoe: Yeah. And Maggey's prints were the only ones on it.

Phoenix: WHAAAT!?

Judge: Order! Order! Order! The court will accept these items into evidence.

Apron added to the Court Record.

Potassium Cyanide added to the Court Record.

Judge: There's something still bothering me, Mr. Godot. Why have you not explained the bloodstain to the court?

Godot: Bloodstain ? What bloodstain would that be?

Judge: Don't play games, prosecutor! The blood-colored stain that's smeared all over the apron!

Godot: That's ridiculous! No one told me anything about a bloodstain!

Phoenix: (You don't need to be told! Just look at it!)

Godot: Well, Detective!? Could this stain really be... BLOOD!?

Gumshoe: N-No way, sir! That's... It's just ketchup. Sir.

Phoenix: Ketchup!?

Gumshoe: She must've gotten some on her an apron while taking someone their breakfast that day.

Judge: ... You could have spoken up a little sooner, Detective Gumshoe!

Godot: Pull a stunt like that again, and I'll have you drink 17 cups of ketchup, witness!

Gumshoe: Unnngh... I thought everyone knew what it was already.

Judge: Hmm... I haven't seen anything yet to make me doubt the last verdict I ruled on this case.

Phoenix: ...!

Judge: The motive, the opportunity , and the supporting evidence ... They have all been clearly established.

Godot: Well, Trite... It seems you really are a phony after all.

Phoenix: (Argh! You really know how to drive a man nuts!)

Judge: Witness, please continue with your testimony. Describe for the court the crime scene and the findings of your investigation there.

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Investigation --

Gumshoe: The crime was reported at 2:25 PM by a kind of scary old man, sir. Poor Maggey had passed out from the shock. It must've been real tough for her. The victim didn't have any identification on him. But we figured out who he was pretty quick, and then the investigation went smoothly. When Maggey was searched, we found the lottery ticket and the bottle of poison. And that was it. There was nothing else missing from the crime scene.

-

Judge: Hmm... You dientified the victim and secured your prime suspect... Very good.

Godot: Last chance to convince the court you're a real lawyer, Trite!

Phoenix: ...!

Godot: Don't court on any more cross-examinations after this one! So, let the fun begin!

-

Cross Examination

-- The Investigation --

Gumshoe: The crime was reported at 2:25 PM by a kind of scary old man, sir.

Gumshoe: Poor Maggey had passed out from the shock. It must've been real tough for her.

Gumshoe: The victim didn't have any identification on him.

Gumshoe: But we figured out who he was pretty quick, and then the investigation went smoothly.

Gumshoe: When Maggey was searched, we found the lottery ticket and the bottle of poison.

Gumshoe: And that was it. There was nothing else missing from the crime scene.

Phoenix: If I don't find a hole in this testimony, the judge is going to hand down his verdict!

Maya: Gumshoe isn't giving us anything to work with... And we can't find any contradictions if he doesn't give us something!

Phoenix: Yeah, that's true... But Maggey and Gumshoe are like dumb and dumber. Our only hope is that they were so dumb, they missed something obvious.

Maya: Come on, Gumshoe! Be the dumbest you've ever been!

-

Phoenix: Detective Gumshoe. I think I should point something out to you. There is just one small contradiction in your testimony.

Gumshoe: Oho! Finally! I'm getting all anxious just waiting, so hurry up, will you?

Phoenix: You testified that, "nothing else was missing from the crime scene." However! The prescription bag you mentioned was empty ! Did the officers recover the medicine from the scene of the crime later?

Gumshoe: Um, no. They didn't.

Phoenix: The victim was given a prescription right before going to Trés Bien. Where, then, did the medicine disappear to!?

Gumshoe: Y-You... ...are toooooo coool, pal!!

Judge: I-Indeed! Due consideration wasn't given to the victim's prescription in the previous trial. Witness! Why do you always overlook such vital pieces of evidence!?

Gumshoe: I, er... I guess that's the most careless thing I've done so far, huh?

Phoenix: The victim was killed by poison ! And the victim's " medicine " mysteriously disaappeared! The victim's own prescription could have been the lethal poison itself!

Judge: O-Order! Order! Well, Mr. Godot? What do you have to say to that?

Godot: Ha...! That's all.

Phoenix: What!?

Godot: Read for the court the name of the clinic on the prescription bag, if you will.

Phoenix: What's the clinic's name got to do with anything...? "New Ear Otolaryngological Clinic" O-Otolaryngological?

Judge: Just what kind of illness was the victim suffering from, Mr. Godot?

Godot: Hardly an illness, Your Honor. More like a bitter war wound, you could say.

Judge: A war wound?

Godot: The day before the incident, Mr. Elg found himself in a fight. He took a blow to the side of the head, and ruptured his eardrum.

Phoenix: He ruptured his eardrum!?

Judge: Then what on earth was the prescription he was given?

Godot: It was a cream that was to be applied topically inside his ear canal, not to be ingested!

Phoenix: What!?

Godot: It's mentioned in the autopsy report, if you read the fine print. They found traces of the medication in the victim's left ear.

Judge: Yes. Here it is. In very, very fine print.

Godot: It seems Mr. Elg correctly applied some of his medication while he was at Trés Bien. Therefore, it would be absurd to believe that he would have eaten his medication.

Phoenix: Uuurgh...

Judge: It seems that this medication is irrelevant to the case after all.

Phoenix: N-No...

Maya: Nick! If you don't think of something quick, it'll all be over!

Phoenix: (She's right. But I can't get away with any old weak objection. What should I do...?)

Phoenix: Only moments ago, Mr. Godot made the following statement. "It seems Mr. Elg correctly applied some of his medication while he was at Trés Bien." If that's the case, then why was the medication not found at the scene of the crime!?

Godot: ...!

Judge: But the medication in question was for topical use inside the ear canal!

Phoenix:

Phoenix: That doesn't change the fact that it could not be found at the crime scene! However insignificant it may seem, it's a lawyer's duty to pursue the truth!

Godot:

Godot: You know as well as I do that the medication is irrelevant. It hardly seems likely that a prescription drug would contain potassium cyanide.

Phoenix:

Phoenix: It hardly seems likely that the coffee the waitress served would contain it, either! But it did! The possibility is undeniable!

Godot: Aaargh!

Judge: That's enough. Mr. Godot. Is the detective the only witness the prosecution wishes to call?

Godot: ...

Judge: Mr. Godot...?

Godot: ...

Gumshoe: Um... I, ah... I've got my own witness I'd like to call, sir. It's the old man who was there in the restaurant on the day of the murder.

Phoenix: (Victor Kudo? The pigeon-hater?)

Judge: Very well. The matter of the disappearing medication seems little more than trivial at beat. However! It wasn't explored at all in the previous trial. And that is something that bothers me.

Maya: Yay! Good job, Nick!

Judge: The court will adjourn for a 10 minute recess. After which we will hear the prosecution's next witness.

Godot: Ha...! I suppose this means I'll just have to finish you off in my last 6 cups.

Judge: Court is adjourned for recess!

-

January 7, 11:03 AM District Court Defendant Lobby No. 1

Maya: Phew! That was close!

Phoenix: Tell me about it... In early died in there!

Byrde: That's my line, sir!

Maya: No! It's my line! I think I really did die a little bit.

Byrde: Looks like we all nearly died in there... I can't believe Detective Gumshoe! How could he betray us like that!?

Maya: Huh?

Byrde: He said he'd help me. But he totally set me up!

Phoenix: I don't think he meant to do that, Maggey. He was backed into a corner. I mean, the guy's got to do his job, right?

Byrde: It's OK. I know all about lies and betrayal. I've had them my whole life. But it really hurt this time. It felt like someone punched me hard in the stomach! I hate that guy! I don't ever want to see him again!

Phoenix: (Poor Gumshoe...)

Maya: So the next witness is going to be that old guy from the park, right?

Phoenix: Yeah. Mr. Kudo. Lover of waitress outfits and projectile seeds!

Byrde: I bet he's gonna be really stubborn. I mean, he's pretty set in his ways, you know?

Maya: Yeah, he's a big old grouch. Are you going to be able to handle him, Nick?

Phoenix: Yeah, I can take whatever he throws at me. Even those never-ending bird seeds!

-

January 7, 11:15 AM District Court Courtroom No. 4

Judge: Court will now reconvene for the trial of Maggey Byrde. Mr. Godot. Your next witness, please.

Godot: The prosecution calls the lucky old-timer who caught the show over a cup of coffee. Will the witness please take the stand.

-

Godot: Name and occupation, if you don't mind.

Kudo: The name is Victor Kudo. Born and bred in the Land of the Rising Sun! Honor and duty are what make me. Mind you, I can be quite emotional at times, too.

Phoenix: We don't need to hear about that, Mr. Kudo. Just tell the court your occupation.

Kudo: My occupation? Kah! Listen, young'un! How much call d'you think there is for kimono embroidery here!?

Phoenix: Kimono embroidery?

Kudo: That's what I do! Or did, back in Japan. I embroidered family crests on kimonos! My ancestors were embroidering kimonos before this country even existed!

Maya: Wow, a real craftsman! They're a dying breed! Hey! Maybe he could embroider my costume sometime.

Kudo: Anyway, like I said. There's not much demand for that kind of thing here. So I had to take a job working the cash register at a burger joint... pretending to smile!

Phoenix: (That burger joint would've been better off putting him in the kitchen...)

Judge: Now then, witness. Were you in the restaurant at the time of the incident?

Kudo: Oh, yes! I was eating some seeds over a cup of javaccino.

Judge: Seeds?

Kudo: What do you think these are, hmm!?

Judge: I-I see...

Godot: So you saw everything that happened, gramps?

Kudo: Did I!? Oh, yes! Oh, yes I did! I saw it all!

Godot: Then please, tell the court. We're all ears.

Kudo: Sure, sure. I'll tell you. I'll tell you every last detail!

Phoenix: (He's really getting into this...)

-

Witness Testimony

-- What I Witnessed --

Kudo: The young man was reading the sports paper. The serving girl brought him a javaccino... But she put something in it! The man took one sip of it, looked like he was in terrible pain, and then collapsed. That's the serving girl, right there in the defendant's chair. I remember her well!

-

Judge: Mr. Kudo. she is not a "serving girl". Please refer to her as a waitress.

Kudo: Kah! You're as bad as the rest of them! All these newfangled words! What's wrong with old-fashioned ones, hmm!?

Judge: N-Newfangled?

Kudo: All this talk of "radios" and "glasses"! It's "wireless" and "spectacles", I tell you!

Judge: E-Excuse me...

Kudo: Listen to me, everyone! Don't forget the old values! Don't let the good old days slip away!

Judge: Well, um... I think it's time to begin the cross-examination, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: Y-Yes, Your Honor.

-

Cross Examination

-- What I Witnessed --

Kudo: The young man was reading the sports paper.

Kudo: The serving girl brought him a javaccino... But she put something in it!

Kudo: There's no question about it! She very conspicuously put some white powder in there.

Kudo: The man took one sip of it, looked like he was in terrible pain, and then collapsed.

Kudo: That's the serving girl, right there in the defendant's chair. I remember her well!

Kudo: There was a ribbon in her hair, and her apron's straps were loose.

Kudo: There wasn't anything that caught my interest about her when I saw her from the front.

Maya: Do you think Old Seedy really saw Maggey do it?

Phoenix: Well, he probably had his eye on the waitress the whole time. That's why he was there.

Maya: But he was there for the cute outfits, right? Not the waitress...

Phoenix: I-I guess... (Hmm, she makes a good point though...)

Maya: Hey! Did I just say something clever?

Phoenix: I wonder if the waitress Mr. Kudo saw really was Maggey ...

Maya: That's what we have to figure out, Nick!

-

Phoenix: Mr. Kudo. I would like you to please take a look at this.

Kudo: Kah! That filthy thing would suit flith like you just perfectly. Actually, it reminds me of what my grandson looks like, just after he's done eating.

Phoenix: Have you ever seen this before?

Kudo: Of course I haven't! Do you think I'd forget something as dirty as that!? Hmm? Well? You half-witted clot!?

Phoenix: ...

Judge: ...

.........

Kudo: Wh-What!? What is it!? Ever since I said, "you half-witted clot", there's been an eerie silence in here.

Phoenix: Mr. Kudo. This apron... ...is the apron worn by the defendant on the day of the poisoning!

Kudo: Uh?

Phoenix: And as you just said yourself... ...you wouldn't forget something like this. Which means, is you had really seen this apron before...

Kudo: Er...

Phoenix: Yes, you know what I'm getting at! You couldn't habe possibly seen the waitress from the front !

Kudo: ... Oops!

Judge: Witness! You can't just "oops" your way out of this!

Godot: Ha...! Well, well... Looks like we finally have a genuine trial on our hands.

Phoenix: ...

Godot: Listen, Trite. Here are the facts. On the day of the incident, there was only one waitress in the restaurant.

Judge: That being the defendant, Ms. Maggey Byrde?

Godot: Exactly. And when that one waitress put the poison into the coffee cup... ...this old guy was watching!

Judge: Hmm... I hope you understand the gravity of the situation, Mr. Kudo. The fate of the defendant may rest on what you say you remember seeing.

Godot: Just tell the court exactly what you saw, gramps.

Kudo: You can rely on me, Captain! My noggin's in perfect working order. I can't remember a single occasion when I forgot what burger a customer wanted!

Maya: He can't remember? Probably more like he messes up so many times, he's blocking it out...

Judge: Very well. Let's test just how good your memory and attention to detail is, Mr. Kudo. Tell us what you remember about the victim.

-

Witness Testimony

-- About the Victim --

Kudo: He was another of those pesky young types, wearing a broken pair of spectacles. He had a newspaper in his right hand, and the noisy brat kept rustling its pages! The young man was listening to the wireless. I remember that well. Then the serving girl in question brought over the javaccino. The little fidget picked up the cup with his free hand and took a sip.

-

Judge: The testimony we have just heard was to test how credible the witness's memory is. It seems to me that he remembers the victim in a great deal of detail.

Kudo: Oh, yes! I hate those you-know-what types who are so vague about everything!

Maya: How are we going to handle this, Nick?

Phoenix: We only need to do one thing. We just need to prove that the old man's memory is shot.

Maya: Just trip him up, you mean? Isn't that kind of cruel?

Phoenix: (I suppose... But it's what I do best.)

-

Cross Examination

-- About the Victim --

Kudo: He was another of those pesky young types, wearing a broken pair of spectacles.

Kudo: He had a newspaper in his right hand, and the noisy brat kept rustling its pages!

Kudo: The young man was listening to the wireless. I remember that well.

Kudo: Then the serving girl in question brought over the javaccino.

Kudo: The little fidget picked up the cup with his free hand and took a sip.

Phoenix: (The whole point of this cross-examination is to establish just one thing... That this old guy's memory has more holes than a slice of Swiss.)

Maya: I guess we just need to find a contradiction in his testimony somewhere, huh?

Phoenix: (Anything will do. Even the smallest detail. We just need one mistake, and he's ours!)

-

Phoenix: Mr. Kudo. Do you remember what you were told at the start of testimony? That this was a way of testing the credibility of your memory?

Kudo: I know, I know! There's nothing wrong with my memory, I tell you! Nothing! If I got anything wrong, I'll eat these seeds and sing the pigeon song!

Godot: Care to tell us where this is going, Trite?

Phoenix: According to Mr. Kudo, the victim was holding the paper in his right hand... ...while drinking coffee with his free hand, which would make that his left.

Kudo: Kah! What is this? Kindergarten?

Phoenix: But I would like the court to please take a look at this.

Judge: That's the cup victim used, correct?

Phoenix: Yes, and on the rim, you'll notice the mark left by the victim's lips.

Judge: Yes. There is a stain left by the coffee.

Phoenix: If you consider where that stain is, you'll clearly see... ...that the victim was holding the cup in his right hand !

Kudo: But how...?

Phoenix: Well, Mr. Kudo. The court is waiting for your epic performance! You said you'd eat those seeds and sing the pigeon song!

Kudo: Aaaargh!

Judge: Mr. Kudo... I'm afraid this is simply not acceptable. I think the witness had better go back to the park where he came from.

Kudo: WAAAAIT! If you think I'm going to stand here and listen to you tell me I'm mad, you're wrong! I don't care about that dirty coffee cup! I know what I saw!

Judge: Y-You still insist on your testimony?

Kudo: That young brat was holding the cup in his left hand! Oh, yes. No question! I'm a good, law-abiding citizen, I am. It's that dead young hotbot and you, you spikey-haired yahoo, who are at fault!

Phoenix: (Who, me!?)

Judge: Th-Thank you, old man. We've heard quite enough from you already.

Kudo: Don't call me "old man", old man! Been around for 68 years, I have. You can't ignore me! LISTEN TO WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAAAAY!

Judge: I'm sorry, Mr. Kudo, but...

Godot: Sure, why not hear a little more?

Judge: M-Mr. Godot!

Godot: But this is my 16th cup of coffee... So this is your final stand.

Kudo: Thank you, Captain! You can rely on Victor!

-

Witness Testimony

-- Left Hand or Right Hand --

Kudo: The boy was wearing the earpiece on the same side as the green lens of his specs. He kept fiddling with it all the time. He was fiddling with it just before he picked up the cup, too. And then he used the same hand to pick up the cup. His left hand!

-

Judge: We know that the victim was wearing an unusual monocle over his left eye.

Godot: It wasn't a monocle, Your Honor. It was a small computer monitor often used by programmers.

Judge: A monitor? You mean, like a television screen!?

Godot: The inside of the lens is a screen that displays computer data. It's called an HMD. It's a common tool in the victim's line of work.

Kudo: HDTV, DVD, CD... All these newfrangled letters drive me mad! But they don't matter. I know what I saw, and I'm telling the truth!

Phoenix: (It's true... He doesn't seem to be lying.)

Kudo: And those are the facts, in good old black and white!

-

Cross Examination

-- Left Hand or Right Hand --

Kudo: The boy was wearing the earpiece on the same side as the green lens of his specs.

Kudo: He kept fiddling with it all the time.

Kudo: He was fiddling with it just before he picked up the cup, too.

Kudo: And then he used the same hand to pick up the cup. His left hand!

Maya: Well, Nick? What do you think?

Phoenix: I think the guy's telling the truth. But even so... Something's not quite right.

Maya: Then chuck evidence at him unyil he breaks!

Phoenix: (But if he's not lying, there wouldn't be any contradictions in his testimony, right?)

-

Phoenix: I'm not sure what the relevance of this is, but... Mr. Kudo! There is something very strange about your observations of the victim.

Kudo: What!?

Phoenix: You say he was wearing the earpiece on the same side as the HMD.

Kudo: No question! You can lock me up if I'm wrong! It was his left ear, without a doubt! I could only see that side of his head from where I was sitting.

Phoenix: I don't think so.

Kudo: Wh-What did you say!?

Phoenix: You're no doubt unaware of this fact, Mr. Kudo. But the victim couldn't hear with his left ear! His eardrum was ruptured!

Kudo: Eh?

Phoenix: Traces of medication for his condition were found in his ear canal. That's right! It's impossible that the victim was wearing his earpiece in his left ear. Because he couldn't even hear in that ear!

Kudo: ... Is that true, Captain?

Godot: ...It is.

Kudo: ...Pi... Pi-Pi-Pigeon! Hm-hm-hmm... Pretty pigeon! Hm-hm-hmm...

Judge: Order! Order! Order!

Phoenix: This witness's testimony is completely unreliable! He only saw the witness from behind. And he claims the victim was wearing an earpiece when we know his eardrun was ruptured! Well, Mr. Godot!?

Godot: Aaaargh! A single drop of milk is all it takes to destroy the pure black magic in the cup! The old man... ...is my drop of milk!

Kudo: Captain! Are you calling me a drip!?

Judge: This is the victim's coffee cup in which the potassium cyanide was found. The mark on the rim clearly shows that the victim picked it up with his right hand !

Kudo: I'll never back down! I know I'm right! The lad drank his javaccino with his left hand !

Godot: Let me put you out of your misery... Clearly, the victim used both hands. He took a sip with the cup held in his right hand, and then switched to his left... That's what the old man saw!

Phoenix:

Phoenix: Impossible! The witness has already testified on numerous occasions... ...that the victim died immediately after taking just one sip of the coffee.

Godot:

Godot: Which hand the victim used to pick up his cup is irrelevant, Your Honor. The facts still stand! With one hand or the other, Mr. Elg drank the poisoned coffee... ...Like this!

Phoenix:

Phoenix: Sadly, Mr. Godot, that doesn't wash! The point of this testimony was to establish whether the witness's memory was credible. And the results are clear! The testimony given by this witness is useless!

Godot: Puuuurgh!

Judge: I believe it is time to conclude today's proceedings. I am satisfied that the witness is not deceiving the court. But to be frank, his testimony is a farce!

Kudo: D-Did you have to be so frank!? Take that, you pompous old fogey!

Judge: I'm sorry, Mr. Kudo. You can't reach me from there. I'm ordering the defense and the prosecution to investigate this case further. That is all for now. This court is adjourned!



Kudo: WAAAAIT! If we stop now, where does that leave me?

Judge: Leave you, Mr. Kudo?

Kudo: Thanks to that blue-suited young upstart over there... ...I'm just a bumbling old man who can't even dot his t's or cross his i's now!

Phoenix: (How is your bad memory my fault!?)

Judge: I'm sorry, Mr. Kudo, but there's nothing I can do.

Kudo: I've kept my mouth shut until now... ...but there's something else the court should know!

Godot: What!?

Phoenix: There's more?

Kudo: To be perfectly honest, it might not be anything. But I want another chance! I want another crack at you, you young shark!

Phoenix: M-Me? (He's looking at me like I'm some sort of evil Shogun...)

Kudo: Well, everyone? What do you say to one final showdown? The final chapter in this eccentric old man's scrapbook!

Godot: Sorry, gramps... I've already had my 17th cup of coffee.

Kudo: What have you got to lose, Captain? I'll give you all the coffee you want if you come to my house after the trial. I may be 68 years old, but Victor Kudo is still a man!

Judge: That's enough, witness. I believe it will be quicker for the court to just hear your testimony.

Kudo: You bet! Much, much quicker!

Maya: I can't believe this is happening...

Kudo: Ha ha ha! You better get ready, youngster!

Phoenix: I get the picture! Just quit throwing those seeds at me, would you!? (He's gotta be using some sort of infinite ammo code with that box of seeds...)

-

Witness Testimony

-- The Final Showdown --

Kudo: First of all, I want to stress that this might be nothing. I'm not too sure of myself. The young boy slumped over the table as soon as he took one sip of his javaccino... Well, the clumsy idiot upset the vase. He knocked it right over. It broke, and the strip of cloth covering the table got completely soaked! Well!? How about that? Turned things upside-down, hmm?

-

Judge: ... Um... Is that all?

Kudo: Yes, that's all. I remember it perfectly. Eh!? You're doubting me again? You're doubting a poor, defenseless old man!?

Judge: N-No. We are not doubting you, Mr. Kudo.

Maya: Don't you get the feeling there's a question hanging on everyone's lips, Nick?

Phoenix: Yeah. "So what?" probably! That's all I can think of, and I have to cross-examine this guy!

Kudo: You're a birdbrain, that's why that's all you can think of!

Judge: Very well... Mr. Wright. Your final cross-examination, please.

-

Cross Examination

-- The Final Showdown --

Kudo: First of all, I want to stress that this might be nothing. I'm not too sure of myself.

Kudo: The young boy slumped over the table as soon as he took one sip of his javaccino...

Kudo: Well, the clumsy idiot upset the vase. He knocked it right over.

Kudo: It broke, and the strip of cloth covering the table got completely soaked!

Kudo: Well!? How about that? Turned things upside-down, hmm?

Phoenix: He's really giving you the evil eye, Maya.

Maya: It's you he's looking at, Nick, not me! It's like he's saying, "I triple dog dare you to find a contradiction, young'un!"

Phoenix: I guess I'll just have to rise to the challenge then...

-

Phoenix: Mr. Kudo. This is a photograph of the crime scene.

Kudo: Hmph! So what?

Phoenix: Look carefully at the table. The vase is there... intact!

Kudo: Huh?

Phoenix: Lost your tongue, granddad?

Kudo: ... I'm no granddad of yours, hop scotch!

Phoenix: Ow! Oooow!

Judge: Enough! If you throw any more seeds in this courtroom, the cleaners will be here all night.

Kudo: Aaaaaah!

Judge: ... What is it now?

Kudo: I just remembered something!

Phoenix: Y-Yes...? Go on...

Kudo: The broken vase... Ha ha! It was on my table!

Phoenix: Wha...?

Kudo: Ah, well... You see... It startled me when that young lad collapsed. So I stood up. That must've been when it fell over. The vase on my table, I mean.

Judge: The vase on your table?

Kudo: Ah ha ha! Yes, it was on my table! And that's how my groin came to be completely soaked.

.........

-

Judge: * sigh* Thank you, Mr. Kudo. You've certainly earned your kudos for today.

Kudo: Er, I'd like to ask a question now. Have I, er... Have I been any use at all?

Judge: Perhaps that's something you should reflect on yourself, Mr. Kudo.

Kudo: Aaaargh! WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE! If that's the case, there's more! I've got more to say! Oh, yes! I remember something else...

Judge: Bailiff! Escort the witness out of the courtroom!

Kudo: WAAAIT! LISTEN TO MEEEEEE!

-

Judge: Well! We seem to have been considerably sidetracked. And I am still not in a position to deliver a verdict.

Phoenix: ...!

Judge: The defendant has not been positively identified as the waitress in question. Additionally, there are two disparities in the testimony we have heard thus far.

Phoenix: The mark on the coffee cup that the victim supposedly drank from with his left hand. And the earpiece which was inserted into his left ear, out of which he couldn't hear.

Maya: Wow, Nick! You did it!

Judge: I therefore require both the defense and the prosecution to further investigate the facts.

Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor.

Godot: ...

Judge: There is one more thing before I call today's session to an end.

Phoenix: O-One more thing, Your Honor?

Judge: The witness we just heard from... He is most insistent that his testimony should be of use. So he's summarized it accordingly into this statement.

Phoenix: Um... OK...

Judge: You may each have a copy of it, if you wish.

Godot: Whatever. The prosecution doesn't need props like that.

Maya: Godot's really mad, huh?

Phoenix: Yeah. I would be, too.

Judge: Very well. Here you are then, Mr. Wright. There are 3 copies. My own, yours, and Mr. Godot's.

Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor.

Victor's Testimony added to the Court Record.

Phoenix: ("I'm sorry"? This isn't a piece of testimony! More like a five year old's apology...)

Maya: What the heck are we supposed to do with 3 copies...?

Judge: That is all. This court is adjourned!

-

To be continued.

-

January 7, 12:52 AM Wright & Co. Law Offcies

Maya: So how do you think the trial went this morning?

Phoenix: How do you think it went!?

Maya: It got a bit crazy in there. I just wonder if that killed our chances.

Phoenix: Yeah, I guess it did get out of hand. Mr. Kudo's testimony did nothing to help us. Plus, now we don't even know the identity of the waitress who laced the coffee.

Maya: All we know is what old Mr. Kudo saw... The apron straps, and the ribbon.

Phoenix: And that the victim was wearing an earpiece when his eardrum was ruptured.

Maya: Talk about a terrifying case of contradictionitus.

Phoenix: Time to play doctor and find ourselves a cure then, huh?

Maya: Yeah, we've gotta find one for Maggey, or she's going to have a terminal case of guilty!

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January 7 Police Station Criminal Affairs Dept.

Maya: Looks like Gumshoe's not here.

Phoenix: Never mind that. What's going on? It feels different in here somehow...

Maya: You think?

Phoenix: Yeah. Everyone seems to be on edge.

Detective: What are you doing!? Call in the officers for the briefing, quick! Can't you shut down the station's server? Chief! Quit playing on the Internet!

Chief: But my e-mail pen pal, 1337aZnPrInceSz!

Detective: Save it for later! I'm turning it off NOW!

Chief: Noooo! 1337aZnPrInceeeeeSz!!

Maya: Everyone's keeping busy in here, huh?

Phoenix: Keeping busy? More like paincking, if you ask me. (Something's going on. Something big ...)

-

January 6 Detention Center Visitor's Room

Phoenix: I guess Maggey's still in questioning.

Maya: But! But we've got questions to ask her, too! Magg-ey! Magg-ey!

Phoenix: Keep it down, Maya! This isn't a playground, you know!

-

January 7 Trés Bien

Maya: Empty, as usual.

Phoenix: Yeah, and it's lunchtime, too.

???: That's it! Come on, come on, come on!

Phoenix: Hey, that sounds like...

Gumshoe: Now just call an "8", pal! Come on! I know you can!

Maya: He's getting really worked up about something.

Gumshoe: Noooooo! That's the wrong number! Argh! Look like an "8" would have only netted me five bucks anyway! What a rip off!

Maya: What's the problem, Detective Gumshoe?

Gumshoe: Huh!? Oh, it's you... I, uh... I was uh... Hah hah! I was just... Hah hah hah! I was just listening to the radio, pal.

Phoenix: To the radio?

Maya: Hey, Detective Gumshoe's having lunch here!

Phoenix: (He is! And he's having the Twin-T set...)

Gumshoe: Aha ha ha... What can I say...?

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{{NavBox row Gumshoe: That's the sports paper the victim wrote something in, right? ...

Maya: What is it?

Gumshoe: I know I've heard that name somewhere before... "MC Bomber"... Yeah... I heard it real recently, too...

Phoenix: {{Color|#0070C0|(Wow, he actually seems to be thinking for once!)}}

Gumshoe: Ack, it's no good. I can't remember...

Phoenix: {{Color|#0070C0|(...And he goes back to being the Gumshoe we all know and love.)}} }}

}}

-

January 7 Vitamin Square

Maya: Hmm... I don't see any sign of Mr. Kudo. Do you?

Phoenix: Maybe he went to buy another ton of bird seeds. I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be here, anyway. At least, not for now. (Besides, any more seeds today and I'm liable to turn into a real phoenix!)

-

January 7 Trés Bien Kitchen

Maya: Huh? Mr. Armstrong's talking to someone.

???: I'll be back next month.

Armstrong: Oui! Naturellement! I will be waiting for you!

???: If you haven't got it by then, I'm afraid it might get a little... hot... around here.

Armstrong: Non! I will 'ave everything ready, I promise!

???: I love fire, you know... I love the way it crackles... Hee... Hee... Hee...

Armstrong: Non, non, non! Stop it! I beg you!

???: Then don't let me down... I'll be watching you...

Armstrong: Mais, non! Z'is is not necessary! You can trust me, mademoiselle!

???: Talk to anyone... and I'll drive a knife... right through your heart.

Armstrong: Oh, non! You do not 'ave to worry. You know, you worry far too much. Maybe z'is will 'elp you relax. It is la oil of sandalwood.

???: I do love... raw meat... from time to time... Hee... Hee... Hee...

Armstrong: Aaaaah!

???: I'll be taking my leave... Goodbye... for now!

Armstrong: Urgh! I 'ave la shivers! I must rub some of my oil all over my body before I become z'e nervous wreck! Z'ere. Oh, oui, oui! Z'at feels good!

Phoenix: Urgh!

Armstrong: Oh lá lá! Excusez-moi, monsieur!

Phoenix: M-My eyes! My EYES!

Armstrong: Your eyes? If you 'ave trouble wi'z your eyes, you need z'is. La oil of sandalwood!

Phoenix: Isn't this just the leftovers of what you were just using!?

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(Talking about "The radio", "The woman just now", and "Tender Lender", Presenting Glen Elg's profile to Gumshoe leads to:)

-

January 7 Blue Screens, Inc.

Maya: Wow! This place is so hi-tech! You can almost smell the electricity in the air!

Phoenix: It is a computer firm, Maya. They can't work without electricity, you know.

???: Who are you?

Maya: Oh, umm... Hello...

???: I'm sorry. Access is restricted to authorized personnel only. This is a computer programming laboratory. There are far too many trade secrets that could be leaked.

Maya: Wow! What secrets!?

???: Everything you see here is classified. No information can leave this building.

Maya: Understood!

Phoenix: (Who is this woman? She's like a robot from some kind of whacked edumacational show...)

Basil: My name is Lisa Basil. I'm the company director.

Phoenix: D-Director!? (Sh-She's human!? She seems more like a ghost in a shell. And that thing over her eye... Isn't that the same device as Glen Elg's?)

Maya: That's an DMH, right?

Phoenix: Nice try, but it's the other way around, Maya. It's an HMD.

Basil: All of my programmers here at Blue Screens, Inc. are supplied with HMDs.

Maya: Then do you write programs, too?

Basil: No. I just enjoy wearing this.

Maya: They ARE pretty cool! I wouldn't mind one!

-

Trés Bien

Gumshoe: Well, I'm gonna head back to the precinct now. We've got a big meeting starting in a bit.

Maya: About Maggey's case, you mean?

Gumshoe: No, that's pretty much wrapped up now... There's another big case going down at the moment, so she's been pushed aside...

Maya: OK. Well, see you later then.

Gumshoe: Bye!

Phoenix: ...

Gumshoe: ......

Phoenix: ......... Y-You better get going, Detective, or you'll be late.

Gumshoe: Actually, I, um... I've kinda got a favor to ask. It's a big one!

Phoenix: A favor?

Gumshoe: Yeah... It's for, um... Maggey, actually. I was kinda hoping... you'd give this to her for me.

Maya: What is it?

Gumshoe: It's a lunchbox. I got up early so I could make it. I've been real worried about her. She looked like she'd lost a lot of weight.

Maya: Detective Gumshoe... ... How many weenies are in here!? There's not a person on earth who could down this much meat.

Gumshoe: You think? I love weenies. I can't get enough of their tender juiciness. So will you give to her? It took me ages to make, so please say you will, pal!

Phoenix: (I can't exactly say no, can I?)

Gumshoe's Lunchbox given to Maya to carry.

Maya: Maybe I'll eat it myself if I get hungry!

Gumshoe: Don't forget, OK? I'm counting on you to give that to Maggey.

Phoenix: (He's finally gone...)

-

Vitamin Square

-

January 7 Tender Lender

Maya: ...This place gives off a really strange vibe, doesn't it?

Phoenix: Looks like "The Tiger" isn't in his lair. (And that is, as they say, a very good thing.)

???: ...Welcome...

Phoenix: * gulp* (Talk about a creppy voice! It makes your soul want to shrivel up and die!)

???: You're here... to discuss a loan...?

Phoenix: Uh, no. Not exactly...

???: The manager is away at the moment... Wait quietly... please...

Maya: She's gone! Just like that!

Phoenix: I guess we'll just have to come back another time.

Maya: But this is the perfect opportunity, Nick! This place reeks of suspicion! Come on, Nick! Let's take a look around, OK?

Phoenix: Do you think it'd be OK...?

Maya: Of course! No one will ever know...

???: ...Coffee...?

Maya: Aaaaaaaah!

???: I'll leave it here for you to enjoy... Quietly.

Phoenix: Y-Yes! Thank you!

???: Do not touch the desk... Please...

Maya: N-N-Nick! Let's g-get out of here!

Phoenix: (NOW She wants to get out of here...)

(Examining CD Player, Ashtray, Hanging clothes leads to:)

???: Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Maya: Aaaaaaaah!

Phoenix: (Come out from under the desk, Maya!)

The Tiger: Whad are youse two snoopin' around in my office for!?

Phoenix: N-Nothing. W-We were just...

The Tiger: Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! My precious carpet! Youse got ash on my rug! You' gonna wish your ugly feet never came through my door!

Phoenix: I-It wasn't us! It was already like th--

The Tiger: Youse wanna argue with me!? Is that what you' doin'? You dink youse can take me on!? I'm gonna flatten youse two into pancakes and turn youse into my new rugs!

Maya: Aaaaaaaah!

???: ...Oh... Don Tigre... You're back...

Phoenix: (Ack... That voice... It's like evil seeping into your head through your ears...)

???: ...I'm sorry... Don Tigre... I knocked pver that ashtray before... and...

Phoenix: (Eek! Has she got a death wish or what!?)

The Tiger: ... Oh, right.

Phoenix: Huh?

The Tiger: F-Forget about it, Violetta. I-It's noddin'...

Phoenix: (What, what, what!?)

The Tiger: I ain't gonna get mad at you. You' too cute, you hear!

Phoenix: (That's so unfair!)

???: Here... Have some cookies... I just baked them... And you'll need some strong espresso... while you're discussing your loan...

The Tiger: Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! Phoenix Wright!

Phoenix: Y-Yes!?

The Tiger: Youse either crazy or just plain stupid to chase after me! I worked so hard, but now youse gotta come and mess up my plan...

Phoenix: (So it was him... He's my phony...)

The Tiger: Heh, but I don't care. No one gets in my way!

Phoenix: Wh-What? I mean, e-excuse me?

The Tiger: Heh heh heh! Youse shoulda left de little girl at home, Wright.

Phoenix: Um... I have a few things I want to ask

The Tiger: Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Maya: Aaaaaaaah!

The Tiger: No questions! Dis is de last time we meet!

Phoenix: Ack! Wait! P-Please!

Maya: ...That was pretty weak, Nick. You waited until he was out of earshot before you shouted after him.

Phoenix: (Like you're one to talk! I didn't hear you scream, "Hold it!" either!)

???: ...The espresso...

Maya: Aaaaaaaah!

???: ...And cookies...

Phoenix: (This woman is definitely not good for my heart. Now, what was it The Tiger called her...? "Violetta"?)

-

January 7 Vitamin Square

Maya: There he is! Old Seedy's back feeding the pigeons again!

Kudo: There! Take this! And this! And get out of my park!

Phoenix: Like I thought, he's really mad... Come on, Maya. Just keep your head down and let's sneak away while we still can... Maya: What? Why? Hellooo, old man!

Phoenix: What are you doing, Maya!?

Kudo: Huh!? ...Kah!

Maya: Hey, he just turned his back on us!

Phoenix: I'm not surprised. I bet I really hurt his pride in court this morning.

Maya: Hey, Mr. Kudo!

Kudo: Hmm, ha-hmm, hmm... Hmm, pi-pi-pigeon, hmm... Kah!

Maya: Look, we really need to talk to you, alright?

Kudo: Out with the demons! In with good fortune!

Maya: Ow! Ow! Ow! Seeds... Shell splinters... Painful...

Phoenix: I always knew you were a demon, Maya!

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{{NavBox row Maya: Um... You said you were a craftsman, right?

Kudo: Kah! The modern world casts honest craftmen like me aside in droves!

Maya: S-Surely it's not that...

Kudo: I come from a long line of craftsmen. Right back to the time of the shoguns! Do you hear me!? I didn't become an embroiderer, I was BORN one!

Maya: Actually... I'm kind of in the same situation myself.

Kudo: I... I... I wanted to stick my fingers up that dribbling old judge's nose... ...and scream right down his earhole... "Objection!"

Maya: Oh... So, did you want to become a lawyer when you were young...?

Phoenix: I don't think that's quite it, Maya. I think he's just in a bad mood, that's all...

Kudo: I've got a tsunami of frustration inside and it's ready to burst out!

Phoenix: (If we let him start rambling now, we might never shut him up! What should I do?)

Phoenix: (Guess I better let him talk...) So, there's not much call for craftsmen these days, then?

Kudo: Of course not, you idiot! All I'm good for nowadays is running errands!

Maya: Errands?

Kudo: Everyone takes advantage of the elderly! "Buy some bread, gramps!" "Take the dog for a walk, granddad!" "Feed the pigoens, old man!" What am I? Some sort of two-bit community handyman!?

Maya: Um, well...

Kudo: "Buy some bread", now that I can understand. But what's the point of feeding some seedy pigeons!? Why don't people say what they mean!? "Get lost!" That's what they're trying to say! Oh, yes! I'm just an inconvenience, you see! At home... At that restaurant... I just get in the way, don't I!?

Phoenix: I-I'm sure you don't. (Wait a minute! What did he just say? At home and... at that restaurant?) Hold up... By "restaurant", are you talking about Trés Bien? Did you get asked to run an errand there, too?

Kudo: Yes, I did! The very day that young brat was poisoned.

Phoenix: WH-WHAT!? }}

}}

-

(Talking about "Embroiderer" and "The "errand""leads to:)

Trés Bien

-

January 7 Trés Bien Kitchen

Maya: Looks like Mr. Armstrong's out again.

Phoenix: But the place is open for business... You can't have an open restaurant without a chef!

Maya: Hey! It's not my fault, Nick! Don't take it out on me!

Phoenix: (Only a couple of minutes after the incident happened... Mr. Kudo left the scene, leaving Mr. Armstrong here alone.)

Maya: Argh... Missing when we need to talk to him the most.

Phoenix: (Maybe he's trying to avoid us on purpose?)

-

- - -