You do not understand, Dawsonathan. Your fate can go one of two ways. Either 1: I put you in a Minecraft villager sex dungeon with Old Man Jenkins and a dispenser that shoots out bread. OR, 2: You un-virgin yourself willingly, with the woman/man that will make the rest of your life fairly exceptional. I leave this decision to you, Dawsonathan. Fair well, until this Friday, where I go to meet with Mr. Chuck E. Cheese himself, where we can decide your fate over a nice cheese pizza.
