| At Naruhodo's Legal Consultancy |
Transcript |
Naruhodo's Legal Consultancy
Ryunosuke:
Erm...um... Hello! I'm, um...I'm back!
Susato:
Oh, hello, Mr Naruhodo. Did you have a good outing?
Iris:
Hi, Runo! ...Hm? What's the matter? Your eyes are as big as dinner plates.
Ryunosuke:
Haha, Iris... I, I wasn't expecting to see you here!
Susato:
I've just made some tea, Mr Naruhodo. Would you like a cup?
Ryunosuke:
A cup or two! Yes! Um...definite-tea! Haha!
Iris:
......... Alright Runo, what's going on? You're acting extremely strangely.
Ryunosuke:
What? Me? No! Not at all! I'm as normal as normal can be! Normali-tea itself, see? Haha. Ha...ha...
Susato:
Haah... Not again, Mr Naruhodo?
Ryunosuke:
Ah!
Iris:
Sorry? Not what again? What do you mean, Susie?
Susato:
Whenever he goes out on his own lately, he always seems to come back with a peculiar new purchase.
Ryunosuke:
Peculiar? Peculiar? What's peculiar about the things I've bought?
Susato:
You seem to think that anything British is a curio you simply must have. You keep buying items of bric-a-brac even though you don't know what they are.
Iris:
Well, there are rather a lot of bric-a-brac shops and pawnbrokeries and the like around here.
Ryunosuke:
...It's when I've been to Lord Stronghart's to give my weekly report. I'm always so nervous beforehand. On the way home, I just find myself in those shops and... Yes, alright, I can't deny it! I've bought something!
Susato:
You're right, you can't deny it. Because your eyes are wider than ever.
Iris:
You really ought to put up a warning sign about them. They're bigger than some potholes around here.
Ryunosuke:
...It's hard to resist things in the bric-a-brac shop. It's all so cheap. Mr Sholmes has given me lots of useful advice about how to pick out the real bargains.
Iris:
You must remember, Runo, that Hurley likes to have fun with you. Take his advice with a big pinch of salt.
Ryunosuke:
Well, that's true. That thing he told me was a pot stand wasn't a pot stand at all. But I'd never have guessed it was a collapsible top hat!
Susato:
No, and I'd never have guessed that you could fill up this once empty room so quickly. Honestly, it's overflowing with things we don't need now. I mean, look at those scales. Not once have you weighed something on them.
Ryunosuke:
I know, but ever since I first stood at the defence's bench in court, I don't know why, but... ...I've just really wanted my own little set of scales.
Susato:
Let's see it then, Mr Naruhodo. What have you come home with today?
Ryunosuke:
Oh! Well, um...it's, erm...one of these!
Susato:
......... What is it?
Iris:
It looks all dry and shrivelled up in a ball.
Susato:
Really, Mr Naruhodo, what is it?
Ryunosuke:
...It's a sea anemone.
Iris:
An, an anemone?
Ryunosuke:
Yes. I mean, I know it doesn't look like it at the moment. It's all shrivelled up, like you said.
Susato:
Aren't sea anemones living creatures? The ones that dance about on the seabed?
Ryunosuke:
Yes, exactly! The ones that dance about on the seabed!
Susato:
...Oh. They sell sea anemones in bric-a-brac shops here in Britain?
Ryunosuke:
I don't know whether they normally do or not, but I do know that I bought one today!
Iris:
But why, Runo?
Ryunosuke:
Well, um...yes! For the aquarium, of course!
Susato:
Aquar...ium? I don't know that word.
Ryunosuke:
Well, according to the shopkeeper... ...keeping sea creatures in tanks was hugely popular here in London before.
Iris:
Oh yes, some people have some beautiful fish in seawater tanks, it's true. Having an aquarium became popular because the old glass tax was abolished.
Susato:
There it is again, rearing its ugly head. The subject of taxation...
Iris:
It was a real craze for a while. Everyone in London had one!
Susato:
For a while?
Iris:
Yes, it didn't last long. People's enthusiasm soon waned. It's just far too much work to be changing the seawater regularly in a city like London.
Susato:
...Never a truer word said, I'm sure.
Ryunosuke:
You'd think people might have realised that from the start really, wouldn't you?
Iris:
Anyway, that was long before I was born. So now everyone jokes that there's an unloved aquarium covered in dust in every attic in the capital.
Ryunosuke:
And it's true! There's one in this attic, too. When I told the man in the bric-a-brac shop about it, he had these words of wisdom: 'That's why this is the age of the sea anemone!' ...And that made a lot of sense to me.
Susato:
It...made sense to you, did it?
Iris:
But Runo, this anemone is completely dried up.
Ryunosuke:
'You just need to soak it in water overnight, and it'll be as good as new!' ...That's what the man said.
Susato:
I'm not sure that it works in the same way as dried wakame seaweed, Mr Naruhodo...
Ryunosuke:
Once I've saved some money, I'm going to buy some prawns to keep this little fellow company!
Iris:
Oh, how exciting! Your office will be teeming with life!
Susato:
...Will it really...?
Ryunosuke:
Britain is a funny country, though. I mean, a sea anemone craze?
Susato:
Well... They say 'people in glass houses' about comments like that here, Mr Naruhodo. Don't forget that there was a very curious rabbit craze in our own country not so very long ago.
Ryunosuke:
A mortifying chapter that people will try to erase from the history books a hundred years from now, I'm sure.
Iris:
You know, there was another craze as well before the aquarium one. Have you heard of Wardian cases?
Ryunosuke:
Wardy...what? No, I've definitely never heard of them.
Susato:
...They were little glazed cases for growing plants indoors, I believe.
Ryunosuke:
Oh, I see. For plant-lovers to raise their favourite tropical plants.
Iris:
That's right. Like different types of ferns.
Ryunosuke:
Ferns?
Susato:
Do you mean those rather dull plants with lots of fronds for leaves?
Iris:
They're not dull at all! Ferns are lovely plants. I think people wanted to recreate the exotic foliage of the tropics in their own homes.
Ryunosuke:
So they grew ferns? I mean, ferns...sea anemones... Londoners certainly have a knack for the obscure.
Susato:
Well...thinking about it... ...my grandfather loved the moss on his bonsai. He looked after it better than the trees.
Ryunosuke:
It seems like the more obscure something is, the more it interests people.
Iris:
Maybe! Anyway, the Wardian case craze didn't last very long. Now most of those little glass cases are just gathering dust, I think.
Susato:
But haven't I seen one in your room, Iris?
Iris:
Ooh, very observant of you, Susie! Yes, that's right. Mine's certainly not gathering dust. I grow tropical herbs in it.
Susato:
...Well, Mr Naruhodo... ...I really must ask you to stop all this frivolous buying of strange things.
Ryunosuke:
...Yes, alright. Sorry. It's just that, well... Think about Mr Sholmes's room! He has all sorts of peculiar trinkets lying around.
Susato:
Oh...well yes, that's true. And they seem to be growing in number. Recently I've noted a blowpipe, a few beryl crystals set in a twisted piece of gold, a gold-rimmed pince-nez...
Ryunosuke:
I spotted a small gramophone record in there the other day, so I slipped it onto the gramophone. But it was just a whispering voice saying 'Norbury' and nothing more! What could it possibly be about?
Iris:
Those are all mementoes of cases that Hurley's solved over the years.
Ryunosuke:
Exactly! That's what I want to create in here! Just that sort of atmosphere.
Susato:
Ah, a room full of meaningful trinkets, each with their own unique history, you mean?
Ryunosuke:
Yes! Yes, that! I knew you'd understand, Miss Susato!
Susato:
But, Mr Naruhodo...none of the things you've bought for the room have any connection with any of our cases.
Ryunosuke:
Oh. Don't they?
Susato:
Well, for example, take that splendid, but rather weather-beaten top hat. That wasn't used as evidence in any of the cases we've worked on, was it?
Iris:
Oh, so you have two top hats if you count the collapsible one as well?
Ryunosuke:
No, the collapsible one is a pot stand. ...As far as I'm concerned, anyway. But the other day when we were in court, they were everywhere, weren't they? Top hats, I mean.
Iris:
Well, here in Britain of course, they're the mark of a true gentleman, so that's hardly surprising. If a man isn't wearing a top hat when he ventures out of doors, he'll be looked down upon.
Susato:
Gosh, it has very strict rules, doesn't it? The English gentleman's code.
Ryunosuke:
I've been wondering how I'd look in a top hat recently. After all, my university uniform is black as well, so I think it could be very in keeping.
Iris:
Oh, what a good idea! Go on then, Runo, try it on!
.........
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Susato:
The lesson here, I suppose, is that the juxtaposition of student and gentleman is just so strange and...wrong.
Ryunosuke:
...Well I'd rather it didn't suit me anyway! I mean, these hats are ridiculous! I'd be willing to bet every foreigner who sees one of these for the first time thinks exactly the same thing: 'Why is that man wearing a chimney on his head?'
Iris:
People in glass houses, remember, Runo?
Ryunosuke:
What do you mean?
Iris:
Well, what about Japanese chonmage topknots? Those haircuts are the height of ridiculousness!
Ryunosuke:
Ugh...true.
Iris:
At least you can take a hat off. Once you have a chonmage, it's 'chon' your head for good!
Susato:
I'd be willing to bet every foreigner who sees a chonmage for the first time thinks exactly the same thing: 'Why is that man wearing a cannon on his head?'
Iris:
...I suppose that's what it means to have different cultures, isn't it?
Ryunosuke:
On the subject of hats... ...the one Mr Sholmes always wears is really very strange, don't you think?
Susato:
I, I, I beg your pardon, Mr Naruhodo? What a thing to say! That hat is the very essence of Mr Sholmes! Yes, without his deerstalker, the great detective would be unrecognisable!
Ryunosuke:
It's called a deerstalker? That's a surprisingly swanky name.
Susato:
It's the hat of a hunter, just like the flat cap. I made up my mind long ago to visit Regent Street and buy one for myself!
Ryunosuke:
...I'm not sure it's going to fit over your hair.
Iris:
Well I think it's perfect for a great detective who stalks his criminal quarry!
Susato:
What do you think is strange about it anyway?
Ryunosuke:
Well you've seen it! It has two brims, one at the front and one at the back. Why do you need two brims on a hat? Surely one at the front is enough, no?
Susato:
Hmph! One moment, please...
Ryunosuke:
If you ask me, it's just Mr Sholmes's madcap personality coming through. I bet it's so that he doesn't have to think about which way round to put it on or something like that.
Susato:
Mr Sholmes does not have a madcap personality! He always has a clear head!
Iris:
Deerstalkers were made for hunters who had to hide in thickets when they were stalking their prey. The brim at the back was designed to stop the stalks of plants scratching the backs of their necks.
Susato:
Oh, so that's the reason! Thank you, Iris, for educating us.
Ryunosuke:
Mr Sholmes doesn't spend a lot of time in thickets though, does he?
Iris:
Well no...that's true.
Ryunosuke:
I'm telling you, it's just his impetuous personality. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it. Firmly!
???:
Ah, here you all are!
Ryunosuke:
Oh, good afternoon, Mr Sholmes.
Susato:
I've not long since made some tea, Mr Sholmes. Would you like a cup?
Sholmes:
I see I've come at a good time, Miss Susato. Thank you. Now...I have something I should like you all to see. I've designed myself a brand new great detective's hat!
Ryunosuke:
Wh-What the...? There's a brim...
Susato:
...At the front and at the back...and at both sides! Four brims in total!
Sholmes:
Your observation is quite correct, my dear madam. I'm a busy man, you see. But with this hat, whichever way I put it on, I shall always have it pointing the correct way!
Susato:
Oh.
Sholmes:
With my previous hat, I could, in an impetuous moment, wear it erroneously with the brims on either side.
Ryunosuke:
That's...impressively clumsy, I would say.
Susato:
...And I must regretfully say, I think your madcap theory was correct, after all.
Ryunosuke:
But really, Mr Sholmes, with brims on all four sides like that, wouldn't it just be better... ...to wear a top hat instead?
Iris:
Oh yes! Then however you put it on, you'd have a brim all around.
Sholmes:
What?! So true, so true! How could I have been so blinkered to this fact until now?
Ryunosuke:
Well fortunately, I happen to have two top hats here. If you'd just lift the pot off it, you're welcome to try that one there.
Sholmes:
Indeed I shall, my good fellow. Much obliged.'
Iris:
.........
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Iris:
Oh dear, Hurley, it looks terrible! More terrible than I could possibly have imagined!
Ryunosuke:
Oh, that's not good. Maybe it's because of your long face. Paired with the tall hat, it just...doesn't work.
Susato:
Well I think it's very nice, Mr Sholmes. ...Even if it will have the whole world in fits of laughter.
Sholmes:
AAAAAAARGH! I should never have meddled with it! Give me a deerstalker for evermore!
Ryunosuke:
And give me my regulation university hat for evermore!
Susato:
...There's still hope that you'll graduate one day, Mr Naruhodo. Don't give up!