| In Sholmes's Suite |
Transcript |
Sholmes's Suite
Susato:
Good morning, Iris. Good morning, Mr Sholmes.
Iris:
Oh, morning, Susie! I'll get breakfast on the table for us all.
Ryunosuke:
Ah...Mr Sholmes... Morning...
Sholmes:
Come now, why the long face?
Ryunosuke:
Oh, um...sorry. The thing is... ...I just had a rather strange envelope posted under my door this morning. With some rather strange things inside.
Susato:
What strange things?
Iris:
Ooh, what is it, Runo? Do I catch the scent of mystery in the air?
Ryunosuke:
Nothing so exciting, I'm afraid, Iris. It was just five orange pips. I can't imagine what it could possibly-
Susato:
Whaaaaaat?! O-Orange pips, Mr Naruhodo? And f-f-five of them?
Ryunosuke:
What's the matter with you? That's a bit of an overreaction, isn't it?
Susato:
An overreaction?! Mr Naruhodo, you, you don't understand! It's a warning. A notice of imminent danger...to your life!
Ryunosuke:
WHAT?! To, to my life? What's the meaning of all this...Mr Sholmes?
Sholmes:
My dear fellow...why do you make such an enquiry of me?
Ryunosuke:
Because the name of the sender was written on the envelope. And it was yours.
Susato:
Oh!
Iris:
You're right, Runo! It says, 'Sent by: Sholmes, Envoy of Hell'!
Sholmes:
Ah ha ha ha ha hah! So, my little ploy has been exposed. Well, so be it. Cast your mind back, if you will, Mr Naruhodo, to the time of our dining last night.
Ryunosuke:
Oh yes... Miss Susato cooked Japanese food for us.
Sholmes:
Indeed. In particular, you may recall the final norimaki sushi roll that I was about to savour. That is, before you swooped in with your clacking chopsticks and filched it from under my nose!
Ryunosuke:
Oh! I, I assumed because you'd left it that you didn't want it.
Sholmes:
I'd left it, my dear fellow, because I had planned to enjoy it as my very last mouthful. Surely you must have noted my intent by the subtle dilation of my right pupil?
Ryunosuke:
...Perhaps a clearer sign would be helpful next time. Just an idea.
Sholmes:
In summary, the post you received earlier is a notice of impending revenge. You should be quaking in your boots!
Ryunosuke:
...Really? Because I went straight out into the garden and planted them. I'm hopeful we may grow some exotic fruit!
Iris:
There's no point sending a 'notice of impending revenge' if the person you send it to doesn't know what it is.
Susato:
Well, I knew, of course. Because I've read this book. 'The Adventures of Herlock Sholmes'... On sale now in all major London bookshops and receiving rave reviews!
Ryunosuke:
Oh yes, of course. It's finally been published, hasn't it? I hear it's selling very well.
Iris:
It is! Twelve short stories in one volume... I've earnt a lifetime's spending money already!
Sholmes:
And it has further bolstered my name. In fact only the other day, a Bohemian king sought to engage my services.
Ryunosuke:
Really? That's...extraordinary.
Sholmes:
Of course, the gentleman persisted with some pretence about being a fishmonger for the duration.
Ryunosuke:
Haah...
Sholmes:
But only a fool would presume to be able to deceive my eyes with such a charade.
Ryunosuke:
So how did you know he was a king then?
Sholmes:
Why, there is no mystery, my dear fellow. A distinct smell of fish accompanied the man's lowly apparel. And though he tried to hide it, the left side of his moustache quivered in a quite manifest manner.
Susato:
Oh, Mr Sholmes... That's simply brilliant!
Sholmes:
Having neatly resolved the case for the man, I was sent a quantity of fresh cod as a mark of his appreciation.
Ryunosuke:
...I think perhaps you shouldn't discount the possibility that he actually WAS a fishmonger.
Iris:
......... Ah... Is, is that...? Can anyone else smell burning?
Ryunosuke:
Oh yes, you're right. And look...smoke! I, I think maybe...
Sholmes:
Fire! Fire! There's a fire, everyone!
Ryunosuke:
Really?! A fire?!
Sholmes:
We must all leave at once! Everyone out of the building!
Ryunosuke:
No! Wait! I... I have to go back to my room first!
Sholmes:
Are you deranged? If you're not asphyxiated by the smoke, the flames will burn you to death!
Ryunosuke:
But my daruma doll! I, I can't let my daruma burn! It means too much! Argh! Drat! Sorry, but I'm...I'm going to make a dash for it upstairs!
Iris:
Hahahaha! Oh, Runo, you're so funny!
Ryunosuke:
This is no time for jokes, Iris! Go! Quickly! Get out of here!
Iris:
But...there is no fire. Is there, Hurley?
Ryunosuke:
Huh?
Susato:
Ah... What a delight to see that ploy enacted in the flesh! I wouldn't have dared to dream I should be so lucky!
Ryunosuke:
M-Miss Susato...?
Sholmes:
Ah ha ha ha ha hah! Indeed, indeed! Indeed it was a ploy. A devilment engineered by my puckish spirit!
Ryunosuke:
It was all a trick? But WHY?!
Sholmes:
It is a simple experiment of the mind, Mr Naruhodo. When his life is threatened... ...a fellow is compelled instinctively to protect that property to which he attaches matching importance.
Iris:
And after your own life, Runo, the most important thing to you seems to be...your daruma doll!
Ryunosuke:
...Let's not dwell on that, shall we, Iris? So...you knew all along, Miss Susato? That it was a trick?
Susato:
Yes, of course. The very ploy is described in this book. 'The Adventures of Herlock Sholmes'... On sale now in all major London bookshops and receiving rave reviews!
Ryunosuke:
Not again...
Sholmes:
I have used that device quite satisfactorily in the past to solve a case.
Iris:
Oh yes, it was a great success, wasn't it? But then it became something of a habit, didn't it? You started yelling 'Fire!' at every crime scene. In the end, people started to pay no attention to you at all.
Sholmes:
Yes, that's true. There was a time when I was known as 'the Sholmes who cried wolf'.
Ryunosuke:
...I think there's a lesson to be learnt in there somewhere.
Sholmes:
But sadly my little ploy failed to yield results this time. Iris was utterly unmoved.
Susato:
What do you mean?
Sholmes:
Well, I was anticipating that Iris would immediately expose her secret hiding place. The location of the nest egg she must have cached somewhere in this room.
Susato:
Nest egg? You think Iris has some secret savings?
Sholmes:
Why naturally! The book is selling like hot cakes, after all. It is a simple deduction indeed to conclude that the profits must be concealed here within these walls.
Susato:
Oh Mr Sholmes...are you in need of money?
Iris:
Ah! I bet I know what it is! It's that new microscope that's gone on sale, isn't it, Hurley?
Sholmes:
What else?! I have such a strong desire to own one, yet my purse is one pound too light. And as no offer of a loan has been forthcoming, I have been forced to resort to an alternative stratagem.
Iris:
Hee hee, sorry, Hurley, but I'm not falling for that. Not coming from the Sholmes who cried wolf.
Sholmes:
Agh! How vexing!
Ryunosuke:
...You really shouldn't be trying to steal a ten-year-old's savings, you know.
Iris:
My book is full of little tricks like that, you see. The armoury of the great detective!
Ryunosuke:
Except that in this case, both the orange pips and the fake fire fell a little flat, didn't they?
Sholmes:
Oh, I have plenty more tricks up my sleeve. Take, for example, the case of 'The Boscombe Valley Mystery'.
Ryunosuke:
...I'm already filled with dread, just from the title.
Sholmes:
It is a tale of extraordinary skill on the part of the great detective. The skill of tracking.
Ryunosuke:
Tracking?
Sholmes:
When I arrived at the scene of the crime in the eponymous valley, there were footprints everywhere. But my eye was immediately drawn to one set in particular!
Susato:
Oh Mr Sholmes! Your detective instincts are truly remarkable!
Sholmes:
As you know, my dear madam, no detail, no matter how small, escapes the scrutiny of these eyes. So, I tracked my quarry, following the trail of his footprints all the way to the man's place of residence!
Ryunosuke:
It led you directly to the culprit's house? What a triumph!
Sholmes:
You misunderstand. It led me directly to my own house, my dear fellow.
Ryunosuke:
Huh?
Sholmes:
For the footprints were...in the final analysis...those made by my own shoes.
Iris:
Hurley had left here for Boscombe Valley as soon as he received the telegram about the case, you see. And then he followed his own trail straight back here to Baker Street.
Ryunosuke:
Haah...
Sholmes:
Now Iris, please. You make it sound almost humdrum. But I assure you, it is no easy feat. Tracking of this nature is a skill possessed only by the great Herlock Sholmes!
Ryunosuke:
You're right. It really is...extraordinary.
Sholmes:
Quite so. Extraordinary is the word. And let it be the last on the subject. Anyway, needless to say, I subsequently went on to solve the case with various other deductions.
Ryunosuke:
Yes, it's the 'various other deductions' that I'm interested in.
Sholmes:
Ah, well, you shall have to read the book then! I'm sure Iris has penned it with her usual flourish.
Iris:
Oh, absolutely! I've put an ingenious spin on the great detective's exploits.
Ryunosuke:
(It must have been very ingenious to make this man sound even remotely credible as a detective.)
Iris:
......... Wait... Is that...? Does it smell like something's burning again?
Ryunosuke:
We've had enough devilment for one day, Mr Sholmes. Put your puckish spirit to bed.
Sholmes:
I assure you, this has nothing to do with me or my spirit!
Ryunosuke:
What?
Susato:
Oh no! The, the smoke is getting thicker!
Ryunosuke:
You mean...it's not a trick this time? There, there really is a...
Sholmes:
Fire! Fire! There's a fire, everyone!
Susato:
AAAAAAAAAAH!
Ryunosuke:
Miss Susato! Where are you going?!
Sholmes:
Stand aside, Mr Naruhodo!
Ryunosuke:
Agh! Easy, Mr Sholmes! What are you...?
Ryunosuke:
Mr Sholmes?! (Why did he just chuck that bust of Napoleon on the floor?) Oh! (Look at that! In amongst all the broken porcelain...) Coins! Sovereigns, in fact! Worth a whole pound each!
Sholmes:
Come, everyone! We must leave at once! Evacuate the building!
Iris:
......... Hehehe! You fell for it, Hurley. Hook, line and sinker!
Sholmes:
Ah...
Ryunosuke:
Wait, you mean... Iris!
Iris:
I certainly wouldn't have guessed that's where you'd hidden it.
Sholmes:
Do, do you mean to say that this smoke was...
Iris:
My own puckish spirit needs to come out and play sometimes too, you know.
Ryunosuke:
WHAT?!
Sholmes:
Ah, of course! I know what it is, Iris! It's that indoor herb garden set that went on sale last week, isn't it? That's what you're after.
Iris:
I want one so desperately! But I'm four pounds short. And even though you told me you didn't have any money to spare before... ...I knew you had a secret nest egg somewhere in this room!
Sholmes:
Argh! You've outwitted me again!
Ryunosuke:
...You really shouldn't let yourself be outwitted by a ten-year-old child, you know.
Iris:
So, thank you for the loan, Hurley. Oh, but wait...
Ryunosuke:
What's the matter?
Iris:
Where's Susie? She's disappeared.
Ryunosuke:
(Oh yes, that's right. She ran off up the stairs before, didn't she?)
???:
Hahh...hahh...hahh...
Susato:
Oh! What are you all still doing in here? We have to evacuate! It won't be long before the fire is...is...
Ryunosuke:
.........
Sholmes:
.........
Iris:
.........
Susato:
Ah!
Iris:
Sorry, Susie. Children will get up to mischief once in a while, you know. But it's all perfectly harmless!
Ryunosuke:
(Harmless, maybe, but oh so devious!)
Susato:
Oh well...at least nobody was hurt.
Sholmes:
Apart from Napoleon. And my secret hoard. Now, tell us, Miss Susato. What is it that you went so fleet-footedly to fetch?
Susato:
Sorry? Oh! No, nothing. This is just... No, this is nothing.
Iris:
Susie! That's... That's your notebook detailing all of Runo's trials, isn't it? It's bulging at the seams!
Ryunosuke:
Wha...?
Sholmes:
Ah... a testament to the various people you've helped over the past months.
Ryunosuke:
Miss Susato, I...
Susato:
Well, I am your judicial assistant, after all. I would do anything to ensure the safety of these records. Even risk my life, if necessary. I mean, it's very important to me. It's like a diary of everything we've achieved together.
Ryunosuke:
......... (I'm getting all teary-eyed now...)
Sholmes:
Yes, in stark contrast to a certain someone who would have fetched his daruma doll, I must say.
Ryunosuke:
Uuuuuugh...